Wild Horses
by AllyMcGee
Summary: As Deeks sanity hangs on by a thread it is up to Kensi to make him realize that he is loved and that he is strong enough to come back to her. Guilt has been eating away at Sam and he has to resolve his issues with Deeks before it tears him apart from the inside out.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Everyone.

I was originally going to stay away from any stories revolving around the season finale, but this story would not get out of my brain, so here it is. I will update as quickly as possible. For those of you are are following _Never Judge a Book By It's Cover_, I apologize for the delay in updating, but we have been dealing with a death in the family and that story has been a little difficult to pick up again. I will finish though and should have an update by tomorrow. Anyway... enjoy!

"Sam?" Michelle asked worriedly. Sam's head bobbed up and down and he made a guttural sound, but nothing more. He was fighting to stay conscious, but it was evident that it would be a battle that he was going to lose.

"Help me get him out of this damn chair," Michelle ordered Callen and Kensi, who were standing in next to the machine that had caused their friend so much pain. "Callen," she shouts, trying to get his attention. Callen snaps out of his shocked stare and rushes over to her side to begin unbuckling the restraints that held Sam in place. Kensi watched with teary eyed horror. Sam was safe—or at least breathing, but where was Deeks? Where was her partner?

Kensi closed her eyes tightly as she tried her best to ignore the pained grunts of Sam as Callen and Michelle pulled him from the chair and lowered him to the ground. The room was small and uncomfortable, giving her a sense of claustrophobia that left her skin crawling. Her hands shook with nervous energy—she was sure that Deeks would be there. Slowly she opened her eyes and felt the weight of heart crushing sorrow when she saw the haunted look that Sam was giving her. He was trying to speak, but no noise would come out. Kensi knew what he was doing—he was trying to tell her where Deeks was. Fat tears rolled down Sam's swollen face as he looked past her to the opposite side of the room, where a set of French doors sat unopened. A lump grew in Kensi's throat when she realized no one had cleared that room yet. Kensi pulled her gun, ignoring the questioning looks from Michelle and Callen. Slowly she walked over to the door and her hand hesitated on the knob. What was she going to see when she opened this door? Was it what she feared she would see? Cautiously she turned the knob and pushed the door creaked loudly as it slowly swung open. The metallic scent of blood invaded her nose and her stomach soured instantly.

The room was too dark to see anything, so she pulled out her flashlight and clicked it on. She swept the beam over the small cluttered room. Her heart pounded in her chest when she recognized the clutter as instruments of torture. "No," she said breathlessly. This couldn't be happening to her. Not now. Not after that kiss. Deeks can't possibly have been forced to endure the mechanics of the medieval looking instruments of torture. As the beam swept across the room once more she paused on a chair that was located directly in the center of the room. Tears blurred her vision as she stepped toward the empty, blood spattered chair. Her shaking hand reached out to pluck lock of blonde hair off the headrest. She stared down blankly at the blood soaked clump of hair and she felt her stomach roll. There was no doubt in her mind as to hair the belonged to and the thought tore at her very soul.

"Kensi," Callen spoke softly.

"Where is he?" Her voice was merely a squeak and she couldn't take her eyes off of the hair that she held between her fingers.

"We will find him," Callen said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Kensi shrugged it off violently and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. The distant wail of sirens made her bottom lip tremble. There was no ambulance for Deeks—only Sam. She could taste bile in the back of her throat and she made a mad dash toward the exit that led into the alley between the two buildings.. She barely made it out into the sweltering heat of the California summer before she fell to her knees and vomited. After she was finished heaving she fell back against the dumpster of the alley and pulled up her knees close to her chest. She closed her eyes and banged her head against the scorching hot metal of the green dumpster. She felt so helpless… so lost.

A sudden thump against the dumpster caused her to jump to her feet and pull her gun. Siderov was still out there and since the deal with the nukes went south he was out for blood. Her nerves were on edge and she had to force herself to take a deep, calming breath. She heard the light thump again and she risked a quick glance back toward the warehouse where Callen and Michelle were dealing with the ambulance that had just pulled up. She knew that Siderov had managed to get away just as the three of them had stormed into the building. Maybe he didn't get very far—maybe he was hiding in the dumpster like the coward she knew he was. Her mouth went dry and she was shaking from the core of her body. Not from fear, but from pure unabated anger.

Kensi crept silently toward the dumpster, pausing when she heard the pitiful thump once more. Her mind screamed for her to get Callen—for her to wait. Her head may have said that, but her hands moved as if they were independent of her body. She gripped the plastic long plastic lid and placed the toe of her boot on the edge of the dumpster. She took one last breath before she flung the lid open and hoisted her self up, pointing her gun at the man that was cowering inside the grimy maggot infested dumpster. Her gun slipped from her hand and clattered to the ground as she stared in horror at the bloodied, beaten face of Marty Deeks. His face was no longer recognizable, but his floppy golden locks assured her that this was indeed her missing partner.

"Callen," She shrieked.

Deeks whimpered in fear and tried to push himself as far away from the shrill voice as possible. His actions were like a knife to her heart. He was afraid and she just made it worse. Slowly—cautiously, she climbed into the empty dumpster. Deeks buried his battered face into the corner of the dumpster as he tried to pull himself into the fetal position- an action that was severely impeded by his obviously broken leg. Kensi crouched down, making sure that she made as little noise as possible, so as not to startle him again.

"Kensi?" Callen called out, poking his head over the edge of the dumpster.

"No more," Deeks sobbed. "Please no more. I… I can't do this. Please just stop."

"Son of a bitch," Callen quietly cursed.

Kensi's hand flew to her mouth in hopes that it would stifle the sobs of her shattered heart. She didn't know how to handle this. That had broken him—completely destroyed him. How is she supposed to help him when the slightest sound terrifies him, giving him the belief that his ordeal isn't over yet?

"The ambulance is on its way," Callen whispered to her, not taking his eyes off of the trembling form of the perpetually happy Marty Deeks. "Talk to him."

Kensi nodded through her tears, "Okay." She lowered herself to her knees and dropped her hands to her lap, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. What do you say to a man who had just been brutally tortured? What do you say to the man who kissed you and you ran away like a scared little girl?

"Deeks?" Her voice was shaky at best..

"K…Kensi?" His voice was so weak that she barely heard him speak.

She inched closer, paying close attention to his body language, "Yeah Deeks—it's me."

"You shouldn't be here."

She inched closer and reached out her hand, allowing it to hover over his shoulder, "I am where I need to be."

Deeks sniffled and she could tell he was trying his best not to cry, "It… h…hurts."

Kensi gently rested her hand on his shoulder and he flinched, but she didn't remove it, "I know. I know it hurts, but I am here now. They will not hurt you again. I swear."

Deeks whimpered slightly as he turned to face her. Kensi had to work hard to control her gag reflex when she saw the damage that had been done to his handsome face. His bottom lip trembled and she wanted nothing more than to gather him up in her arms and comfort him. Unfortunately the damage that had been inflicted upon didn't allow her that option, so she settled for resting his head in her lap and gently stroking his hair. He seemed to settle some as she did this. "It's going to be okay," she whispered through her tears. "I'm here now."


	2. Chapter 2

Callen shifted uncomfortably in the hard backed chairs of the waiting room. It had been three hours since Deeks and Sam had been brought in and the wait was excruciatingly long. A headache was beginning to form between his eyes and try as he might, he couldn't seem to sit still. Hetty, on the other hand, hadn't moved an inch since she sat down. There was even a few times Callen could have sworn she nodded off. He never could figure out how she stayed so calm in a crisis.

Kensi and Michelle were both pacing in front of the rows of chairs, causing a tension to grow in the room. Kensi was nervously chewing on her fingernails, while Michelle muttered to herself. The two women passed each other frequently, but seemed to be completely unaware of each other's presence. Callen looked upon the two women with sadness. He couldn't help but feel that this was his fault. He was the one that was dealing with Janvier the most and he didn't see the betrayal coming. He should have known. He should have watched the man go to the bathroom. But instead he gave him privacy and now his friends are paying for it. The thought of Sam and Deeks made Callen's fists clenched involuntarily. Janvier was going to pay… dearly.

Michelle suddenly stopped pacing and pointed a shaking finger at Hetty, "I blame you for this," she seethed.

Hetty tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brow, "I'm not sure I understand."

"You broke up the partnership. If Callen would have been there this wouldn't have happened. He would have had Sam's back!"

"What did you just say?" Kensi's eyes flared with anger as she stepped around to face Michelle.

Michelle narrowed her eyes and didn't back down, "I said your partner screwed up."

"My partner didn't screw up," Kensi growled.

"Your partner was supposed to have Sam's back. Obviously he didn't."

"Hey," Callen intervened. "We don't know what happened yet. You two need to calm down."

"Calm down?" Kensi questioned. "Do you hear what she is saying? She is blaming Deeks!"

"All I know is when Callen was partnered with Sam this never happened," Michelle retorted.

Callen turned to Hetty and gave her a pleading look, but she only sat there watching the show. Kensi bullied her way past Callen, pushing him out of the argument all together. "In case you haven't noticed Deeks didn't exactly walk away unscathed."

"So the pretty boy got a few scratches? Sam was cooked from the inside out."

Kensi took a step closer so that she and Michelle were standing nose to nose, "I would say that he had more than just a few scratches."

Michelle took a step back, "I know that he is your partner, but Sam is my husband…my partner in life. Deeks is just a playboy you work with. Sam told me all about him."

"First of all, what in the hell does Sam know about my partner?" Kensi shouted. "And secondly, are seriously going to stand there and tell me that just because I'm not married to him it means that I don't love him? That we are just friends? You know what? At least I didn't cram my tongue down the throat of the man who nearly tortured him to death." Kensi took another step closer to Michelle, and Callen placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to pull her back. She violently shrugged him away, never taking her attention off of, "Has it crossed your mind for one second that the reason you are still breathing air is because my partner didn't give you up. He went through hell to keep you safe and this is how you are going to act? Did you even see what he looked like? What they did to him?" Hot tears started streaming down Kensi's face as she fought for composure. "He might die." The words spilled out of her mouth and it was like she was hearing them for the first time, "Oh my God he might die."

Michelle's face softened, "Kensi I… I… didn't."

Kensi's knees felt weak, "Callen… he might die and I never told him…" A strangled sob cut off her sentence.

Callen pulled her into a tight embrace and the floodgates opened. "He can't leave me," she sobbed into his shoulder. "This can't be happening." Her knees gave way it was only Callen's gently lowered her to the ground. He held her trembling frame tightly and gave her the time she needed to fall apart. Kensi was always such a strong woman, but as his own tears formed he realized that even the strongest of people can sometimes need a shoulder to cry on.

Hetty glanced over at Callen and gave him a knowing look. Callen nodded his understanding as he settled in against the wall and let Kensi rest her head on his shoulder. His eyes wondered up to Michelle, who was standing there still trying to compose herself. Callen motioned with his free arm for her to sit down beside him. She wiped the trailing tears from her face and took a seat next to him, resting her head on his opposite shoulder. Michelle reached out and took Kensi's hand in her, giving it a gentle squeeze. Kensi returned the gesture. It was the unspoken apology that both women needed. Callen rested his chin on Kensi's head and within fifteen minutes all three of them had fallen into a fitful sleep. Hetty retrieved a blanket from the nurse's station and laid it across the trio. "Sleep well," she whispered softly, before walking back to her chair to keep watch over her brood.

Just as Hetty took her seat Owen Granger walked into the waiting room with two steaming cups of tea in his hands. Hetty pointed toward the sleeping members of her team and then motioned with her finger to her lips for him to be quiet. He nodded and then sat down next to Hetty, who graciously took the tea from him.

"Any word yet?" He whispered.

"No," Hetty said calmly, but Owen had known the petite woman long enough to know that though she was calm on the outside she was a mess on the inside. "But the doctor has assured me that they are both in good hands."

"This is bad Henrietta."

She took a sip of her tea and sighed, "I know."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"We have to be patient. That is the only thing we can do at the moment."

Owen snorted, "That is easier said than done."

Hetty nodded her head, but said nothing further. There was nothing left to say. Now all they could do was pray.


	3. Chapter 3

"Family of Sam Hanna and Martin Deeks," two young doctors announced from the E.R. doors.

The entire team, including Granger, Nell and Eric approached the doctor's hopefully. The two young men exchanged brief looks of uncertainty upon seeing the flock of haggard agents, but proceeded to talk.

"My name is Doctor Willis and I am Mr. Hanna's attending physician. This is my associate Dr. El-Kebbi and he is treating Mr. Deeks."

"How is my husband?" Michelle asked, nervously shifting from foot to foot.

"Mrs. Hanna, your husband was brought in with second degree burns to his forearms, thighs, buttocks, soles of his feet and back due to the electrocution. We have consulted with a specialist in this area and it has been determined that he will have to undergo a skin graft on his lower back and buttocks, where the burns were the most severe."

Michelle's faced revealed no emotion as she listed to the doctor speak, though there was a slight tremor to her body as she crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Mr. Hanna is also suffering from fibrillation and tachycardia from the electrocution. He has been seen by our resident cardiologist who has scheduled him for an ultrasound in the morning to see if there is any permanent damage to the heart. His neurological system has been temporarily disrupted, though our neurologist, Dr. Milar, believes that this will correct itself with time. Mr. Hanna is being moved to the burn unit, where he will be prepped for his skin grafts. I can allow him visitors, but only for a few minutes."

Michelle nodded her head, "What is his prognosis?"

Doctor Willis smiled sadly, "Until we get the results from his ultrasound I cannot say for sure, but I am hopeful. He seems to be a strong man, putting up a strong fight."

A single tear rolled down Michelle's face, "When can I see him?"

"The nurse will be out to get you when he has been settled into his room."

What about Deeks?" Kensi's broken voice was barely above a whisper.

Doctor El-Kebbi stepped forward, adjusting his glasses on his nose, "By the time that Mr. Deeks arrived in our ER he had gone into shock… we are currently trying to stabilize him. Our biggest concern at the moment is the head trauma that he has suffered. His left eye socket has been fractured in multiple places as the retina has been detached. The swelling from his injury has allowed the eyeball to shift in the socket. His right eye socket was also fractured, but not a severely as the left. He will have to have surgery to repair the fractures and the detached retina. We have to do this as quickly as possible if we have any hopes of saving the vision of that eye. Unfortunately, these injuries have led to a small bleed in his brain, which we are monitoring closely. Hopefully the bleed will stop on its own, but there is a possibility that he may have to have surgery to relieve the intracranial pressure brought on by the bleed."

"Deeks has to have brain surgery?" Kensi gasped.

"We are not certain yet. We will know within a few days. There is also the issue with the compound fracture in his left leg. We will have to set his leg with internal metal rods to allow the stability he needs while it heals, though we cannot perform the surgery until we know more about what is going on with the brain bleed. The dental specialist on staff will repair the damage that has been done to his teeth."

"What is wrong with his teeth?" Callen questioned, stepping up next to Kensi and crossing his arms.

Doctor El-Kebbi suddenly looked uncomfortable as he thought of what to tell the injured man's friends. He has been a doctor for nearly five years now and he had never seen the amount of savagery that was inflicted on these two men. He sighed heavily and adjusted his glasses again, "It appears that Mr. Deeks teeth have been drilled to the bone."

Kensi felt light headed… they had drilled his teeth?

"Once we get him moved to the ICU we will allow one visitor, though I must warn you that he will not be lucid. He was in such a state of violent aggression when he was brought in that we had no other choice but to sedate him in order to treat him." The doctor looked down at his clipboard briefly before looking back up at the team, "We will let you know as soon as we have any definite answers."

"What is his prognosis?" Kensi repeated Michelle's question from earlier.

Doctor El-Kebbi frowned, "I cannot give you a prognosis until he has been stabilized, but you should prepare yourself for the possibility that his recovery will not be an easy one."

Kensi felt the tears burning behind her eyes, "he will be fine. He has us."

The doctor smiled warmly at the weary group of agents, "we will be sure to keep you informed."

"Thank you Doctor," Hetty said as she shook the Doctor's hand. Doctor El-Kebbi gave them a warm smile before disappearing through the emergency room doors. Kensi stood there staring blankly at the spot that he had just vacated. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Would Deeks ever be the same? Would Sam? Would either of the men be able to bounce back from such a gruesome chain of events?

"Kensi?" Michelle placed a hand on her shoulder. Kensi pressed her lips together into a tightly line and took a deep breath through her nose. Tears pooled in her eyes and she chuckled sadly, "he kissed me you know?"

"Really?" Michelle feigned surprise. She honestly thought they had done more than a little kissing.

"Yeah," Kensi said with so much sadness that it made tears well up in Michelle's eyes. "It was the last thing he did before he was abducted. He just… kissed me… and….and I ran away. I didn't even acknowledge it." Kensi turned to face Michelle, "What kind of person does that make me? He finally got up the courage to do what we had both been dancing around for so long and I ran away like a coward… like a scared little girl."

"Oh Honey," Michelle said, taking Kensi in her arms. The two women stood there holding each other, trying to bring comfort to one another. The road ahead was going to be rocky and little did they know exactly how much they were going to need each other in the end.


	4. Chapter 4

An hour and a half later, Michelle was finally taken back to see her husband. Callen accompanied Michelle, but decided to wait his turn outside the room so that he could give the two married people their much needed privacy. Michelle cautiously entered the room, which was dark and cold, reminding her a little too much of how a morgue felt. She paused a few steps in, giving herself a moment to compose her features. No need for him to see her upset. After exhaling a long shaky breath she forced her feet into action and entered the room. No matter how much she had prepared herself, she wasn't ready for what she saw.

Sam way lying on his side, with a blanket pulled up to his waist. His chest and arms were swathed in crisp white bandages that seem to make his body look so frail and small. The heart monitor beat out a fast paced irregular rhythm as a steady stream of oxygen was pumped through the cannula in his nose. Michelle's palms began to sweat and she felt heat rising in the back of her neck as she tried to fight off the nausea that was quickly rising. Never in her life had she ever expected to see Sam look…so…so helpless. She pushed the thought to the back of her head, knowing that she couldn't fall apart in front of him.

Pulling a chair up next to the bed she took a seat and reached for his hand. His skin felt cold and lifeless. She swallowed back the lump in her throat. Sam's eyes flickered open and Michelle tried her best to put a convincing smile on her face, "Hey there sleepyhead."

Sam gave her a one sided smile and gently squeezed her hand, "Hey," his voice was raspy and strained.

"Do you know where you are?"

He nodded. "Deeks?"

Michelle frowned, "he is in good hands. You don't need to worry about him right now."

Sam bit his bottom lip and tears pooled in his eyes. Michelle had very rarely seen her husband cry before and it concerned her, "Sam what's wrong?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably in the bed, wincing when his actions pulled at his bandages. He had so much that he wanted to say, but he couldn't get the words to come out. He was becoming agitated as he fought to speak. Michelle put a calming hand on his shoulder, but that did nothing but fuel his agitation. Sam began to cough uncontrollably. Michelle gently rubbed circles on the un-bandaged part of his back, but the cough only became worse. Suddenly a bell stared to chime and several nurses burst through the door, pushing Michelle away from her husband's side.

A young blonde nurse started to raise the bed, "Mr. Hanna can you hear me?"

Sam's only response was a very wet sounding coughing.

"His blood oxygen is dropping," another nurse said. "Get the doctor."

"Ma'am you need to leave," the blonde said as she helped Sam into a sitting position.

"What's wrong with him?" Michelle questioned frantically.

"Ma'am please move into the hallway," was the only response she got from the nurse.

Before Michelle could wrap her head around what was happening she was shoved out into the hallway where she was met by a very worried Callen.

"What's wrong?" Callen questioned.

"I…I don't know. We were just talking…and…and then he started coughing. Then… then he couldn't stop."

The door to Sam's room burst open and the nurses quickly wheeled him out of the room.

"Clear a path," Doctor Willis shouted. The people in the hall parted as they rushed down the hall with Sam, leaving Callen and Michelle alone and very confused. A male nurse escorted the couple back out into the waiting room and told them that the doctor would be with them shortly. As soon as they were in the waiting room they were met by the rest of the team, who was awaiting news on their friend's health. Michelle walked right past them, not able to deal with telling them about what happened. Hetty watched with concern as Michelle walked out of the hospital in tears.

"Mr. Callen?" She questioned softly.

Callen ran a hand over his face and sighed, "Sam started having problems breathing."

"Do they know why?"

"Not that I am aware of," he took a seat next to Kensi. "They will get back to us as soon as they know something." Kensi laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. Callen wrapped his arm around her and rested his chin on her head. They were exhausted, both physically and mentally. The day had already turned into night and still they did not know the fate of their friends. Granger had gone back to the office to write up a report, while Eric and Nell were snoozing comfortably in the far corner of the waiting room. Hetty chewed on her bottom lip as she took in the sight of her agents. Tensions were high and the entire group was hanging on by a mere thread. If things didn't get better soon that thread was going to snap and she didn't know if she would be able to fix it this time. It was too much. Frustrated and worried, Hetty did something that she hadn't done in a long time…she bowed her head and began to pray.


	5. Chapter 5

Sixteen hours after Deeks arrived he was stable enough for Kensi to go see him. Unlike Michelle, there was no hesitation on her part. She burst right through the door, needing to see him alive, not caring what he looked like. When she reached the side of the bed she fights back tears as she stares down at her partner. Thick white bandages cover his head and eyes, leaving only his swollen mouth and nose uncovered. His bare chest is exposed and the dark purple bruises that look suspiciously like shoe tread stand out in stark contrast to his tan skin. Kensi lets out a ragged breath as she flops down in the chair next to the bed and reaches under the covers for his hand. Her fingers brush up against something that seems a little…out of place, so she lifts the covers up and she can feel her blood pressure rise as she stares down at the leather restraints attached to his immediately presses the call nurse button.

"Yes?" A nurse's voice echoes through the room.

"Get in here now," Kensi growls.

The nurse quickly shows up and looks slightly irritated that there seems to be no issue with the patient, "how can I help you ma'am?"

Kensi crosses her arms over her chest and glares at the woman, "You can help me by telling me what in the hell possessed you to restrain my partner."

The nurse, whose name is Kat, gives Kensi a confused look, "He was quite violent when he arrived."

"Ya think?" Kensi threw her arms up in frustration. "Do you have any idea what he just went through?"

"Uh… yes ma'am I do."

Kensi pursed her lips together and arched an eyebrow at her, "really? Because if you had half a brain you would realize that strapping down a man that was just strapped to a chair and nearly tortured to death might not be the best idea."

"Ma'am he has already hurt one of our nurses and we cannot take the chance that he will hurt another…or himself."

"I don't care," Kensi's voice was flat and even, but Kat could see the slight tremble to her body.

"I cannot remove the restraints."

Kensi takes a step closer to the woman, "Oh you can. And you will."

"I think I will go get Dr. El-Kebbi," the nurse said nervously.

"Yeah. Go do that," Kensi huffed. "And make it snappy."

Within five minutes Kat was back with Dr. El-Kebbi.

"Take those damn things off," Kensi ordered in a low voice.

"I am afraid that is not possible," The doctor said in a thick French accent. "He is too violent at the moment."

Kensi felt her eye twitch slightly and she ground her teeth together, "It wasn't a request."

"I am afraid that just isn't possible," Dr. El-Kebbi sighed. "It is too risky. He could hurt one of my staff or himself."

"I won't let that happen," Kensi's voice softened. "I promise you."

"I am sorry," Dr. El-Kebbi turned toward the door and started to walk away.

"He was tortured," Kensi's voice was cracked and uneven, but she pressed forward, "strapped down and tortured. Waking up restrained isn't going to help him any. It is going to make things worse."

Dr. El-Kebbi turned back to her with a sad smile, "Ma'am I know that you are worried about your friend, but trust me this is in his best interest. Once we see that he is no longer a threat to himself or the staff we will remove the restraints."

Kensi was done with trying to reason with these people...now it's time to threaten them, "If you don't take those damn things off right now I'm going to tell Hetty."

Dr. El-Kebbi narrowed his eyes, "did you just threaten to tattle on me?"

Kensi smirked, "I'm sure Hetty will have a few things of her own to say about the matter."

The doctor chewed on his bottom lip as he mulled it over, "Fine." He finally relented. Kensi shoots Kat a triumphant smile as the doctor begins unlatching the restraints. As soon as the first restraint is off Deeks starts to stir.

"Deeks," Kensi says softly, standing near the head of the bed.

Deeks jolts upright in the bed, swinging his fist out. Kensi takes a step back to avoid the punch. Dr. El-Kebbi shoots Kensi an "I told you so" look and then tells Deeks he needs to calm down. The sound of the doctor's voice only agitates him more. Deeks begins clawing at the restraint still holding his left wrist to the bed. "Deeks," Kensi calls out again. In his panic he doesn't hear her. He is beginning to tear away at the skin as he blindly tries to rip the thick strap of leather from his wrist. In an attempt to stop him, Kat grabs his free wrist.

"Leave me alone," Deeks screams as he shoves the poor girl across the room. "I don't know anything. I swear to God I don't know a damn thing." He pulls his IV out of his arm, "Please just stop."

A rather large male nurse by the name of Ryan rushes in and grabs Deeks free wrist, pinning him to the bed. "Please," the absolute terror in Deeks voice is like a knife to Kensi's heart. "Please…just stop. Leave me alone!"

Kensi grabs Ryan by the scrubs and attempts to pull him away from her frightened partner, "Will you just back off. You are scaring him!"

Ryan doesn't move. Kensi decides to take more drastic measures. She grabs a hold of Ryan's free wrist and twists it behind his back, so that it causes maximum pain. Ryan lets go of Deeks and drops to his knees, "I said leave him alone," Kensi shouts.

"We need to sedate him," Dr. El-Kebbi announces.

"Like hell you will," Kensi growls, releasing her hold on Ryan. "Just let me talk to him."

Deeks is pulling so hard at the restraint on his wrist that it is cutting into the skin and making him bleed. "Deeks," Kensi calls out to him again. Just as before, Deeks doesn't respond. She reaches out and carefully places her hand on his shoulder. He shoves her violently away, causing her to crash into a cart full of medical supplies behind her. As Kensi struggles to regain her footing she sees Dr. El-Kebbi readying the sedative. With renewed determination Kensi steps up to Deeks and grabs his wrist. He tries to pull away from her, but she will not let go. He tries to shove her off of him. But she will not let go. He begins to hyperventilating and his heart rate is getting dangerously high.

"Deeks," she shouts loudly. "Deeks it's me."

Deeks is still thrashing in the bed trying desperately to get away from her. Kensi is all too aware of the damage that he could inflict on his leg if he keeps this up. "Deeks! Listen to me! Hear my voice. It's me. Kensi."

Deeks stops thrashing, becoming statue still. His breathing is labored and his heart rate is far too high for her comfort, but at least he stopped fighting. "Kensi?".

"Yeah," she says softly, resting her hand on the top of his head. "It's me."

His breathing is harsh, "Kensi?"

She squeezes his hand, "I am right here. No one is going to hurt you anymore." She had never recalled seeing anyone quite so terrified in her life. She was used to the goofy, immature Deeks; not the broken, emotionally damaged man that lay before her. Siderov had been relentless in his torture and she knew perfectly well why he was in the shape he was in. It was enough to break even the strongest of men.

"Mr. Deeks," Dr. El-Kebbi spoke up.

"Get away from me," Deeks shouted as he tried to back away from the sound of the doctor's voice, but his wrist was still restrained. He was pulling so hard that Kensi was worried he might snap his wrist.

"Deeks," Kensi shouted again. "Deeks calm down."

He was squeezing her hand so hard it hurt, but she didn't let it show. "Deeks please. You are in the hospital. This is your doctor."

She turned to scowl at the shocked doctor, "Will you get the hell out of here?"

The doctor seemed reluctant to leave but he conceded and left the room with his staff.

Kensi began to stroke his hair again, "He is gone. It's just us."

"Kensi?" Deeks voice cracked.

"I am right here."

He tightened his grip on her hand, causing her to wince, "don't leave." His whole body was shaking and the absolute fear in his voice brought tears to Kensi's eyes. She leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for such a short chapter, but I had to let you guys know what was going on with Sam.

"Pneumonia?" Michelle balked. "How in the hell did he get pneumonia?" Michelle had been brought into Doctor Willis' office so that he could talk to her in private. She insisted that Callen be there with her and neither the doctor of Callen protested the idea.

Doctor Willis pulled his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, "We are not certain, but we did find some fluid in his lungs and the bruising on his chest that we originally thought was from being beaten, may in fact be an indication on resuscitative measures."

"Wait?" Callen said. "You are telling us that Sam… drowned?"

"It is a possibility. We will not know for sure until we can talk with him."

"What are you going to do to fix this?" Michelle demanded.

"We have put him on several very strong antibiotics and he has been put onto a CPAP machine to help with his breathing. We caught the pneumonia in its early stages, so the treatment should be quite effective. We just have to wait and see."

"Wait and see?" Michelle shouted as she jumped to her feet. "Don't you think we have waited long enough? We have been in this damn hospital for over twelve hours and I still don't know if my husband is going to… to… be okay." She couldn't bring herself to say the word die. "Besides, how in the hell could he contract pneumonia so quickly?"

"It is a bacterial pneumonia that has affected you husband. The stress that was put on his body during his ordeal was enough to temporarily weaken his immune system, which allowed the bacteria to multiply at a rapid rate."

"I want to see my husband," Michelle demanded.

"There has been another complication," Dr. Willis sighed, removing his glasses and placing them on his desk.

"What kind of complication?" Callen asked worriedly.

"Mr. Hanna's fibrillation and tachycardia produced a small blood clot, which in turn has caused him to have a minor stroke, which has left him partially paralyzed on the left side of his body."

Michelle collapsed back to her chair and stared blankly at the doctor, "A stroke? Paralyzed?"

Callen ran a shaky hand over his face, "how bad?"

"I assure you that it was only a minor stroke and with physical therapy he should regain most, if not all function of his body. Our main concern now is treating the pneumonia and preventing another blood clot. We have given him a blood thinner, along with a medication that should dissolve his already existing clot. It is a step back in his recovery, but it is not as bad as I could have been."

Michelle buried her face in her hands and began to sob uncontrollably. Callen was instantly by her side, pulling her into a comforting embrace. "What am I going to do Callen?" She cried. "What am I going to do?"

Tears began to stream down Callen's face as he squeezed the grieving woman tightly, "we will figure this out Michelle. Sam is tough…he will come back from this. I know he will." Michelle cried harder, burying her face into his chest, "I can't lose him… I just can't."

"You won't," Callen reassured her. "I will not let that happen."


	7. Chapter 7

One week later…

Callen quietly opened the door to Deeks' room and slipped in with two cups of coffee in hand. Kensi was curled up in a ball on the chair next to Deeks' bed, sleeping soundly. Callen quietly stepped up to Kensi and waved the coffee beneath her nose. Her eyes slowly flickered open and she smiled gratefully at the treat her friend has presented her with. She could tell by the delicious aroma that it wasn't the swill that the hospital tried to pass off as coffee. She stretched the kinks out of her legs and back, then took the coffee and got to her feet. She took a long savory sip as she stared down at her partner.

"How is he?" Callen whispered.

"The procedure to repair his teeth went really well," Kensi whispered back. "They had a hard time sedating him, but Dr. El-Kebbi managed to get it done."

Callen raised an eyebrow, "he fought it?"

Kensi smiled sadly, "like a tiger." She took another sip of her coffee. "He doesn't like being put under."

Deeks whimpered in his sleep and stirred slightly. Kensi was immediately by his side, placing a comforting hand on his chest and whispering, "It's okay. I'm right here." She watched him intently for a moment to make sure that he was indeed comforted. Once she was satisfied she turned her attention back to Callen.

Callen noticed a dark purple bruise on Kensi's forearm and he frowned, "what happened?"

Kensi looked down at the bruise and shrugged her shoulders, "I got a little too close the last time he woke up."

"That hasn't gotten any better?"

Kensi rolled her head back and forth trying to work out the kink that was causing her discomfort, "No. If anything I would say they are getting worse. Dr. El-Kebbi wants to move him to the psychiatric ward, but I told him over my dead body."

Callen raised a questioning eyebrow, but decided that a change in subject might be best, because nothing gets Kensi riled up mare than the discussion of her partner's sanity. "Any word on his eyes?"

"The doctor said that he is healing well from his surgery, but that it is too soon to know if he will have sight in his left eye yet. There is still too much swelling on the optic nerve."

"He has the surgery on his leg today…right?"

Kensi sighed and walked over to the window, taking another long sip of coffee before she answered, "Yeah. They should be coming in any minute now to prep him. It's going to be his third surgery in one week."

Callen looked back at the blonde sleeping in the bed, "He is going to be okay… you know that right."

Kensi leaned her forehead against the cool glass, "Yeah. I know." She didn't sound convincing. "How is Sam doing?"

Now it was Callen's turn to sigh, "He finally got off the CPAP machine and his lungs sound a lot better."

Kensi turned and leaned against the window, "But?"

Callen walked over and leaned next to her, "but… this whole stroke thing has him depressed. I've never seen him like this before. He just sits there staring at the wall all day. Michelle tries to get him to talk, but he just stares at that damn wall. He isn't eating like he should be and he isn't sleeping."

"So I'm guessing that means we still don't know how he got water in his lungs?"

"Nope. We still don't know." Callen was curious about that, but he honestly wasn't completely sure he wanted to know the answer, because the thought of his friend being water-boarded made his stomach sour.

"How are the skin grafts doing?" Kensi thankfully interrupted his thoughts.

"The body hasn't rejected them, so that is a good thing."

"I need to go see him," Kensi pinched the bridge of her nose. "I might go do that today while Deeks is in surgery."

"He would like that," Callen smiled.

"Give me the keys," Deeks mumbled in his sleep. His fists clenched tightly at his side and he began to thrash about in the bed. Kensi slumped her shoulders, "He says that a lot," she told Callen as she walked over to comfort her frightened friend. She placed her hand on Deeks' chest and he sucked in a sharp breath. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm right here."

Deeks shot upright in the bed, his arms flailing around violently. Kensi wasn't quick enough and Deeks grabbed her painfully by the wrist. "Leave me alone," he choked out.

"Deeks!" she shouted. "Deeks, it's okay."

Callen walked over, ready to intervene, but Kensi shook her head, letting him know to stay back. Callen had seen this a few times before with Deeks and he had even seen it with Sam, but no matter how many times he saw his friends wake up in such terror, it never got any easier. "Deeks," Kensi hissed at the death grip that he had on her wrist. "Deeks you need to calm down. It's me…Kensi."

"Kens?" His trembling voice reached her ears. He immediately let go of her wrist and she pulled it protectively to her chest. "Yeah," she said breathlessly. "I'm right here."

Deeks gripped the covers tightly as he struggled to get his breathing under control. "S…sorry," he said somewhat embarrassingly.

"It's okay," Kensi assured him, "You didn't hurt me."

"I'm not sure that I believe you," he said as he fell back onto the pillow.

"You have a visitor," Kensi quickly changed the subject.

"Oh?"

Kensi sat down in the chair next to the bed and placed her uninjured hand on his shoulder, "Yeah. Callen is here."

Deeks let his chin drop to his chest, "how's Sam?"

Callen shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, "he's doing okay." Callen hated lying to him, but everyone had decided that it was probably for the best if Sam and Deeks didn't know the severity of each others conditions. They didn't need that burden.

There was a soft knock at the door and Deeks tensed.

Kensi patted his shoulder, "It's just the nurse," she whispered.

The door opened and Nurse Kat walked in, followed by Dr. El-Kebbi.

"Dr. El-Kebbi is here too," Kensi added. They had learned early on that since Deeks was essentially blind at the moment, he didn't react well to surprise voices.. So Kensi made it a habit to announce who was in the room and the staff had learned not to speak until she had done so.

"Hi-ya Doc," Deeks said with his best forced smile.

"Hello Mr. Deeks," Dr. El-Kebbi smiled back. "We are here to prep you for the surgery to repair you leg."

Deeks body tensed again, "Okay."

"I'm going to get out of here," Callen announced. "Good luck Deeks and I will come back to check on you when you are done."

"See ya," Deeks replied. Kensi waved goodbye to Callen and then turned her attention back to Deeks. "I'm going to stay right here with you until they take you into surgery okay?"

Kensi watched as the Kat approached Deeks' IV stand, "This is a little something to help you relax okay?" Deeks nodded his head and Kat injected the clear fluid into his IV line, "I will be back in a moment to check on you okay?" Deeks nodded again, "thank you."

Nurse Kat headed out the door, followed by Dr. El-Kebbi, leaving Kensi and Deeks alone in the room. "Hey," Kensi said softly. Deeks turned his head in her direction, "Hmmm?"

She smiled, "I'm going to be here when you wake up okay?"

"That would be nice," he slurred. A goofy grin spread across his face and he chuckled softly, "I'm glad you're here Fern."

Kensi leaned over the bed so that she was hovering right next to his ear, "It's where I want to be," she whispered.

Deeks was high as a kite from the drugs and his goofy smile grew wider, "I love you Fern."

Kensi's heart fluttered in her chest, "I love you too," she whispered. She bent over a littler further and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. The feel of his warm lips on hers sent butterflies to her stomach. Deeks smiled dopily, "You kissed me," he slurred happily. She pulled away and chuckled. She missed seeing this side of her partner, "You kissed me first."

Nurse Kat entered the room again with several other orderlies, "We will take good care of him," she said as they began to roll Deeks out the door. Kensi waited until they disappeared down the hallway before she slowly started making her way to Sam's room. She smiled to herself as she weaved through the crowd of people, "he loves me."


	8. Chapter 8

Hello All,

I just wanted to say thank you for all of the great reviews... they make me feel a warm and gooey inside :) Sorry it took so long to update, but as I said in previous updates, I work like 16 hours a day, so sometimes sleep becomes more of a priority (I know...horrible right?) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter. I know Michelle comes off as a bitch, but I assure you she gets put in her place.

Kensi slowly meandered her way down the hall to Sam's room. She felt a little guilty that she hadn't been there to see him very much since the incident, but she had her hands full with Deeks. A shower and a hot meal would probably have been a better idea, but she had to go see Sam. She knocked on the door and waited for Michelle to say, "come in."

Kensi opened the door and was surprised to see Sam was awake. Michelle was reclined on the couch, while Callen could be heard shuffling around in the bathroom. Michelle shot Kensi an irritated look, but didn't say anything. Kensi paused for a moment, trying to figure out why Michelle would be irritated with her, but she decided to ignore it. She didn't have time for that crap anyway. She sat down in the chair next to Sam's bed and took his hand in hers, "Hey Sam."

Sam stared blankly at the wall in front of him, not even acknowledging her presence. Kensi sighed and gave her friend's hand a comforting squeeze before flopping back in the chair. Michelle got up from her place on the couch and took a seat on the opposite side of the bed, taking Sam's other hand. The two women sat in silence for several minutes, but it didn't pass Kensi's attention that Michelle was sending her some very scathing looks. Kensi tried her best to ignore them, but her nerves were already on edge and soon she found herself getting more than a little annoyed.

"Is there something bothering you Michelle?" She asked quietly.

Michelle gave her a surprised look, "Are you kidding me?"

"No," Kensi scoffed. "I'm not. If I have offended you in any way, I promise you that I don't know what I did."

Michelle pursed her lips in an unbelieving line, "How long have you known Sam?"

Kensi was taken off guard by the question, "I…I don't know. Six years?"

"Uh-huh. So you have known Sam for six years now. That is what? Four years longer than that damn detective?"

Kensi felt a flare of anger pulse through her, "That damn detective? I really hope for your sake you aren't talking about Deeks." Her voice was low and had a lethal edge to it. Her eyes flicked down to Sam, who was still staring blankly at the wall.

"You haven't stopped by to see Sam at all. You have been too busy playing nurse with Deeks."

Kensi cocked her head to the side and gawked at Michelle. She did not just go there. "I have been taking care of my partner," she growled. "Sam has you and Callen. Deeks has me."

Michelle jumped to her feet and shouted, "Sam is your friend too."

Kensi replicated Michelle's motions, "You think I don't know that? I haven't had time to come down here."

Callen emerged from the bathroom looking both perplexed and concerned by the women's actions.

"Whatever," Michelle snorted. "You didn't want to come or else you would have been here."

"You know, I don't recall you stopping by to see Deeks," Kensi shouted.

"Honestly," Michelle said as she crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't need the extra drama of seeing him act like a frightened little child every time someone walks into the damn room."

Kensi's fists clenched and she gritted her teeth, "Did you just call my partner a child?"

"Ladies," Callen said cautiously.

"Shut up," the both snapped in unison. Callen took a step back, but still prepared himself to jump in if a fight ensued.

Michelle turned her attention back to Kensi, "He is milking the hell out of this whole ordeal. He was tortured… I understand that, but he needs to man up and deal with it, not turn into a trembling coward every time someone touches him. At least Sam has a reason to be the way he is…he just had a stroke!"

Kensi was speechless. How could someone be so cold hearted? The it clicked and Kensi narrowed her eyes at the woman standing across from her, "You still blame him for this happening?"

"You damn right I do! He was Sam's partner! His back up and look what happened to him!" Michelle's voice broke, but she forced herself to continue, "Deeks was supposed to have Sam's back and he didn't. How am I to every forgive him for that? How am I going to be okay with the fact that the coward nearly got my husband…killed?"

"No," Sam slurred, effectively silencing the entire room.

Michelle gasped and dropped down to her knees to that she could look Sam in the eye, "Hey sweetie," she cried. Callen gently pulled a still fuming Kensi back so that they could have some privacy.

Sam locked eyes with Michelle and the pain she saw there nearly ripped her heart right out of her chest, "He saved me," Sam was having difficultly talking, but he tried desperately to get his point across. "He saved you."

"What?" Michelle asked.

"CPR," Sam squirmed anxiously in the bed.

"CPR?" Callen questioned, looking down at Sam.

"What about CPR?" Michelle questioned, giving Sam's hand a gentle squeeze.

Tears welled in Sam's eyes as he struggled to speak, "Deeks…gave up…his gun…to save me…from pool. Did CPR." Sam gripped Michelle's arm tightly. "He knew…he would…be…captured. He didn't…give you…up. He saved…me. He," Sam's voice cracked and he took a few slow breaths before continuing his story. "No matter…what…they did…he wouldn't give…you up."

"Oh my God," Michelle cried, placing her hand over her mouth in shock.

Tears streamed down Sam's face as he recalled that horrific event, "They said…he was…weak." Sam shook his head violently, "Not…weak. They…did so much…to him…and he…wouldn't talk…He wouldn't…give you up."

"Baby I am so sorry," Michelle cried as she gently stroked the top of his head.

"I…can…still hear…him screaming," Sam's voice was barely above a whisper.

Kensi was shaking with fury and she couldn't stand to stay in the room any longer. She bolted for the door, not even bothering to tell anyone where she was going. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, not caring that passerby's were staring. She reached the end of the hall and caught the elevator just before the doors closed. Once inside she lost all control of her emotions. Her knees gave out and she collapsed against the wall and slid down to the floor. She pulled her knees up close to her chest, buried her face in her hands and began to sob. _He knew he was going to be taken._


	9. Chapter 9

Hello guys and gals, sorry that this is coming so late, but my PC finally kicked the bucket and I had to wait for my laptop to get out of the shop. All of my fanfic was stored on my PC, so I had to sit here and try to figure out how my outline went before I could write anything. Needless to say, I am way behind on my story and I am going to work extra hard to try and catch up. Thank you guys for being so patient

_Two weeks later…_

"How much longer do I have to wear this stupid thing?" Deeks whined as he scratched at the eye patch that now replaced the thick bandages. For the past week Kensi had begun to notice more and more of her old partner surfacing. It was an immense relief for her to see her goofy, childlike partner once more, but there was a part of her that knew it was all an act. No one could go through what he just went through and be back to normal so quickly. With that being said, she decided to play along, hoping that maybe if things got back to normal it would make his healing time progress more rapidly.

Kensi smiled warmly at him, "Until I tell you that you can take it off."

"And when will that be?"

"We the doctor tells me that you can take it off."

Deeks scowled at her and dropped his hands to his lap, "Don't you have to go back to work?"

"Nope," Kensi said with a smirk. "Hetty said that my only job is to sit here and keep an eye on you."

"Really?" He whined again.

Kensi laughed this time, "really."

Deeks began to pout, "Well can I at least have my Jell-O?"

Kensi chewed on her bottom lip and stared down at her feet, not wanting to admit she ate his Jell-O over an hour ago while he was sleeping.

"Seriously? You ate my Jell-O? Again?"

"Quit being a baby," she teased. "I will go get you some more."

Kensi made a move to get to her feet. "No," Deeks said quickly. Kensi froze, not missing the hint of panic in his voice. He had been doing that a lot lately and she was an idiot for forgetting. Deeks didn't like to be left alone.

"Uh," his embarrassment was clearly etched on his face, "you don't have to get up." He picked up the call button and pressed it. "That's what they get paid for right?"

Kensi nodded her head and eased herself back into her chair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, refusing to look her in the eyes.

"For what?" She played dumb.

His eyes began to shine with un-shed tears, "Nothing. Uh… don't worry about it."

"Deeks," Kensi began, but she was interrupted when Callen walked into the room brandishing a brown paper bag that suspiciously smelled like cupcakes. Kensi's mouth began to water, "Do I smell cupcakes?"

"These are for Deeks," Callen scolded. "Don't eat them."

"I would never eat his cupcakes," she scoffed.

"Yes you would," both men answered in unison.

"You ate the last three bags he brought me," Deeks added.

Callen chuckled and laid the bag on the bed next to Deeks good leg. Deeks grabbed the bag and pulled out a chocolate cupcake with green frosting. He barely even peeled the paper off before he shoved it in his mouth. "Oh my God that is good," he said with his mouth full. "Thank you man."

"No problem," Callen said with a smile. "I'm just glad to see that your appetite is back."

Deeks shoved the other half of the cupcake in his mouth, pretending not to notice Kensi's hungry eyes watching his every move. "So how is everyone?" Deeks asked as he dug through the bag searching for another cupcake.

Both Callen and Kensi had noticed that Deeks never said Sam's name. Not one time, though he asked about him on a daily basis, he normally referred to him as "everyone", "Your partner" or "The big guy," For whatever reason he refused to say his actual name.

"He is doing better," Callen said. "The doctor's are moving him out of the burn until by the end of the week."

Deeks quit rifling through the bag and looked up at Callen, "Really?"

"Yeah. They said the skin grafts are well on their way to healing."

The angry look that crossed Deeks face surprised both Callen and Kensi, "Well kudos to him," he said dryly.

Callen looked to Kensi for an answer, but she only shrugged her shoulders. Deeks appeared to be getting agitated as he began rifling through the bag once again. Kensi made a shooing motion at Callen and he backed out of the door silently.

"Deeks?" Kensi said cautiously. "What's wrong?"

"Why would you think anything is wrong?" He questioned bitterly. "Nothing is wrong."

"Something seems wrong."

"Here," Deeks said sweetly as he handed her a chocolate cupcake with purple frosting and pink sprinkles. "I know you like these so I asked Callen to slip one in the bag."

Kensi was taken aback by his sudden mood change. "Callen told me not to eat those," she said with a snort.

"That hasn't stopped you from eating them before," he teased. "Plus, you need your strength just as much as I do, so here… take it."

"Thank you," Kensi said, trying her best to hide the emotions that were welling up inside of her. Deeks had been through so much and was obviously still going through much more than he is letting on and he still managed to think of her first. She sat back in the chair and slowly peeled the wrapper off the cupcake and watched as Deeks made himself comfortable in bed. By the time she finished eating her delicious treat Deeks was already asleep.

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, "Sleep tight," she whispered softly.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello everyone,

This chapter was written while on a break at work, so hopefully there aren't too many errors in it. Hope you enjoy!

Three days later…

Deeks was growing more restless by the day and something was seriously bothering him, but try as she might Kensi couldn't get him to tell her what it was. Gladys, the overly cheerful nurse, came bustling into the room and picked up Deeks chart. As she flipped through the pages she hummed a rather upbeat tune, "Good news Mr. Deeks," she said with a smile.

"I'm going home?" Deeks perked up.

"I'm afraid it isn't that good, but the MRI doctor El-Kebbi ran yesterday shows that the bleed in your brain has disappeared. That means we can move you to a regular room."

"You call that good news?" Deeks grumbled.

"I sure do."

Deeks rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Kensi, who was greedily scarfing down his cup of Jell-O. He chuckled when she blushed. "Sorry," she said through a mouth full of Jell-O. "I was hungry."

Deeks turned his attention back to Gladys, "in this new room will I have a safe to store my Jell-O in? I have been here six weeks and have yet to eat a cup."

Gladys shot Kensi a scathing look and Kensi's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. Deeks actually laughed at this. It was a beautiful sound, Kensi thought to herself. Ever since Siderov she doesn't hear very many genuine Deeks laughs.

"The nurses have your room ready now," Gladys said, still scowling at Kensi. "A woman named Henrietta Lange has arranged for you to have a roommate."

Deeks smile completely faded, "A roommate?"

"Yes," Gladys smiled happily. "A man by the name of Sam Hanna. She says that you two are friends."

"No," Deeks said firmly.

Gladys frowned, "excuse me?"

"I'm not sharing a room with him," Deeks shouted. Kensi suddenly became alarmed when she saw who high Deeks heart rate was climbing.

"Mr. Deeks you need to calm down," Gladys said worriedly.

"I am not sharing a damn thing with him. Do you understand me?" Alarms began to scream as Deeks started to hyperventilate.

"Deeks," Kensi said, placing her hands on his shoulders, "Deeks look at me."

Gladys was trying to put an oxygen mask on Deeks, but he was fighting her every step of the way, "get the hell away from me," he shouted. Gladys reached over and hit the nurse call button.

"Look at me," Kensi said more firmly, shaking his shoulders. He stopped struggling and Gladys slipped the mask on his face. His eyes were full of blind panic and the sight broke Kensi's heart. She swallowed past the lump in her throat before she could speak again, "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."

Deeks began pulling at the mask again, but Kensi took his hands in hers, preventing him from pulling it off, "Hey," she said, trying to get his attention. "Do you understand me? You don't have to if you don't want to."

Just as she thought she was beginning to reach him Dr. El-Kebbi burst into the room, "Is there a problem nurse?"

Deeks began to struggle again and this time he ended up knocking Kensi square on her ass. Kensi was shocked. It had been weeks since Deeks had such a violent episode. She struggled to her feet as Dr. El-Kebbi ordered a nurse to bring him a sedative.

"That isn't necessary," Kensi shouted over the ruckus.

"Mr. Deeks," Dr. El-Kebbi shouted as he held down his shoulders. That just made Deeks fight harder and Kensi could see that her partner was caught in the clutches of a flashback. Deeks screamed and Kensi gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in surprise. Two more nurses joined in to help hold Deeks down. Deeks turned his head over to Kensi, "Help me," he screamed.

Hot tears flowed down Kensi's cheeks as she watched the spectacle. A nurse burst through the door carrying the large needle full of sedative. "No," Deeks shouted when he saw the needle. "No more. Please." He was trying to back up, but too many people were holding him down.

"Leave him alone," Kensi shouted as she tried pulling one of the nurses off of him.

Before she knew what was happening someone had her by the waist and was pulling her out into the hall.

"Kensi," Deeks shouted and she could hear the agony in his voice.

Kensi elbowed the male nurse that had drug her into the hall, but it didn't phase him. "Let me go," she shouted as she attempted to shake him off. The man was easily six inches taller than her and built like a linebacker. Kensi brought her head back hard, hoping to hit him in the nose, but she just hit solid muscle.

"What in the hell is going on here?" Callen demanded as he stormed up to the nurse that was restraining his friend.

"Get this bastard off of me," Kensi spit angrily.

The door to Deeks room opened and it was silent on the inside. Dr. El-Kebbi walked out and the male nurse let Kensi go.

"I'm sorry Ms. Blye," Dr. El-Kebbi started to speak, but Kensi pushed past him with such force that she nearly knocked him over. She rushed to her partner's bedside and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the nurses reinserting his IV. Deeks eyes were open, but he was completely out of it. His face was pale and blood was running down his arm from where he had previously ripped out his IV. Kensi's breath hitched in her throat as she took in all the damage he had visibly done to both himself and his bed during the struggle.

"Kens?" Callen questioned gently.

"He was so happy just a minute ago," her voice was small and distant, almost as if she was talking to herself more than to Callen. "Everything had been fine and then… then… I don't know what happened." There was a slight tremor to her body and Callen could see that she was fighting hard to keep herself pulled together. "He was so scared. He begged me to help him. I…I tried." Kensi turned to face Callen with tears in her eyes, "Callen I swear I tried."

"I know you did Kens," he placed a hand on her shoulder and Kensi completely fell apart. If it wasn't for Callen catching her she would have hit the ground. He pulled her in close and she sobbed openly into his chest… an act Kensi Blye doesn't do often. Callen stroked her hair as he too took in the damage. Was this nightmare every going to be over?


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys and gals,

Again, I am sorry for the shortness of this chapter and any errors that you may find, but this is yet another chapter that was written during one of my breaks at work. It seems to be the only time that I have to actually write anymore (unless I want to forgo eating, sleeping and bathing). I kind of like this chapter, because it is a tender little moment between Kensi and Deeks, so I hope you enjoy!

Kensi was sitting on the short leather couch by the window watching her partner sleep. It seemed to be all she had done in the past month and a half. She was surprised to find that she didn't mind…she wanted to be there. As she watched the soft rise and fall of his chest he mind drifted back to the kiss that had shared right before this nightmare happened. She could still feel the warmth of his lips on her and it gave her goosebumps.

"Kensi?" Deeks' groggy voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

She got up from the couch and sat down next to his bed, taking his hand in hers, "Hey there," she smiled warmly at him.

His ocean blue eyes were clouded with drugs and sadness, "I didn't hurt you did I?"

Kensi scoffed, "No."

He tried to force a smile, but failed miserably, "Good."

Kensi gave his hand a gentle squeeze, "You did scare me a bit. What happened?"

Deeks shrugged his shoulder, "It was nothing."

Kensi wasn't sure why she did it, but her hand reached before she could stop it. She gently caressed Deeks cheek with the back of her fingers and then carefully took his chin and turned his head so that he was facing her. His eyes locked with hers and the intensity that she saw there made her mouth go dry. She had to swallow past the lump in her throat before she could speak, "It was something Marty."

Deeks stared at her for a moment before speaking, "I just can't be around him. Not yet." Unshed tears glistened in his eyes and Kensi was seeing the vulnerable side of Deeks… the side that he never let show.

"Okay," she said as she stroked his jawbone with her thumb. "It's okay. I understand."

Deeks lifted his hand and placed on hers, "You should go home."

"And why would I do that?"

"You have been here for six weeks," he sighed. "You have a life don't you?"

Kensi sat back in her chair as his words sank in. He was right. She should be worried about her social life right? It has felt like it had been a lifetime since she actually had to worry about it, so it was difficult to actually recall what she did before Deeks was abducted. As she thought about a smile came to her face. Most days when she would get off work she would spend her down time relaxing on her couch with Deeks, watching reality television and drinking beer. Just about every weekend was spent with Deeks, either trying to learn to surf or attempting not to poison him with her cooking. When she wasn't with him they were constantly texting each other and the last three vacations that she took were with Deeks. Somehow along the way he had become her life and she didn't even realize it.

"What are you smiling about?" Deeks asked.

"I was just thinking about my life," she replied with a content smile.

Deeks cast his eyes down to the floor, "Oh? So are you leaving?"

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the side of his bed, "Nope."

"Why?" He asked, furrowing up his brow.

"There is nowhere that I need to be."

Deeks propped himself up on his elbow, "really? Nowhere?"

Kensi licked her lips and chewed on the inside of her cheek when she felt the warmth of his breath on her lips. "Nowhere," she repeated, though her voice came out as barely a whisper.

Deeks leaned in a little closer and Kensi felt a thrill of heat rush to the pit of her stomach. "Should you be out living your life?"

"What if?" She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she realized what she was about to say to him. It wasn't like the last time, when he was doped up and goofy. This time he was wide awake and would remember what was said. "What if my life is in here? With you?"

Deeks inched even closer, "then I would say that you have a very sad life."

His lips were hovering just out of reach of hers and her breath hitched in her throat, "not sad. Happy. Loyal. Proud. Brave. Any of those, but not sad."

Deeks chuckled softly, "Whatever you say Fern." He closed the short distance between them and softly pressed his lips to hers. He pulled away and Kensi immediately missed the warmth of his lips. He pressed his forehead against hers, "I'm a train wreck Kens. The smart thing to do would be to run out that door and never come back."

Kensi took his face and in her hands and forced him to look at her. She wasn't quite sure as to why there were tears in her eyes, or why her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest, "maybe I'm not as smart as you give me credit for." She pressed her lips against his and was surprised when he reached his arm around her neck and pulled her in closely, intensifying the kiss. Nothing had ever felt so right before. It was like the missing piece of the puzzle had just fallen into place and she could finally see the whole picture. This was where she was supposed to be and it's where she was going to stay.


	12. Chapter 12

Hello all,

This is what I wrote during my lunch break. I have one more break today before I go home, so I hope to get a chapter knocked out then too. This was an interesting chapter to write, because the incident that Deeks goes through here actually happened to a friend of mine while he was walking his dog, so I always knew I was going to write this, I just didn't know where. I promise that this will be the last chapter where I make Sam (more Michelle actually) to be the bad guy. Enjoy!

Two weeks later…

Deeks had finally been moved out of the ICU and into a private room. Dr. El-Kebbi had explained to him that if all went well, he would be sent home within a week or so. Deeks was practically floating on cloud nine. He had even been given a set of crutches and could now get out of bed, though his leg muscles had weakened so much over the past six weeks that becoming mobile was proving to be difficult. Kensi was there with him every step of the way. When the nurse would come to pick him up for physical therapy, she would always go down with him, even if he claimed that he didn't need any help. She watched helplessly as he struggled with the pain of trying to walk on atrophied muscles. Every night, when Deeks would get back to his room, she would sit by his bedside and they would eat the food that Callen brought in for them. It had become their routine.

Deeks still hadn't mentioned Sam, or the fact that he was just two doors down and he had yet to see him. Kensi popped in on Sam occasionally, when Deeks was sleeping and she was pleased to see that he was recovering nicely. He had begun physical therapy a week before Deeks and he was already starting to get some motion back in his left side. Sam would ask about Deeks frequently and Kensi never had the heart to tell him that the man that he was so concerned about just didn't want to see him. Deeks had made it very clear that Sam Hannah was to stay far away from him. Kensi wasn't sure what had transpired before the two men had been abducted, but she finally got Deeks to admit that it was something that Sam had said.

Everything was going smoothly and Deeks was getting ready for his next PT session. He was going about five times a week and was making significant process. The nurses didn't even come up and get him anymore. Kensi just wheeled him down herself. As she helped Deeks from his bed and into his chair she noticed a look of pain on his face, "What's wrong?" She asked as she lowered him into the chair.

"Nothing," he said as he lifted his bulky casted leg into one of the footrests. "My leg is a little sore, that's all."

Kensi shrugged it off. She had expected his leg to be a little sore from the PT. She unlocked the breaks and wheeled him down to the physical therapy room, where Walter (the physical therapist) was waiting for him.

"Mr. Deeks," Walter said cheerfully. "How are we doing today?"

"Just ready to get this over with," Deeks said bluntly.

"Okay then. Let's get you over to the parallel bars," Walter said with an unfaltering grin.

Kensi stepped back and watched nervously as Walter helped Deeks into a standing position. His broken leg had been fitted for a walking boot last week and Deeks was finally able to put pressure onto the injured appendage. That in itself made Kensi nervous, but there was something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Kensi?" Michelle's voice came from behind her.

"Oh no," Kensi muttered as she turned to face the woman. Michelle was standing behind Sam's wheelchair with a sheepish look on her face.

"We figured we would come down a little early for our PT and see if we could catch you guys," Michelle explained. "Sam really wants to see Deeks."

"You have to go," Kensi whispered heatedly. "You can't let him see you."

"Why not?" Sam questioned. His speech had improved drastically since he had been working with the speech therapist.

This was the opportunity that Kensi had been waiting for. She had never wanted to pry into what had happened between the two men before they were abducted, but now… now the opportunity seemed too good to pass up, "What did you say to him?"

Sam frowned, "I haven't said anything to him. I haven't seen him since we arrived in this damn place."

Kensi crossed her arms over her chest, "before you two were abducted. You said something to him, but he won't tell me what it was."

Sam sighed heavily and dragged his hand down his face, "I questioned his character."

"You what?" Kensi asked, doing little to hide the anger in her voice.

"I said he had a questionable character because of his hair and they way he dressed. I swear though Kensi… I don't feel that way now. If he would just let me talk to him I could apologize to him."

"No," Kensi said, drawing her mouth into a tight line that nearly disappeared into her face.

"Kensi please," Michelle said.

"I said no," Kensi repeated.

"Mr. Deeks," Walter said worriedly. "Mr. Deeks what's wrong. Nurse! Get a nurse in here!"

Kensi spun around to see Deeks with a deer in the headlights look on his face. He was hyperventilating and locked in place by pure terror. Kensi rushed to his side, "Deeks," she said loudly, trying to break through the mental fog of the bad memory.

"We need to sit him back down in the wheelchair," Walter said to her.

Kensi tried to guide Deeks back into the chair, but she couldn't pry his hands off of the bars that he was gripping so tightly. Deeks eyes were locked onto Sam and Kensi could feel the trembling of his body. Then it dawned on her…the last time Deeks saw Sam he was bound to that damn chair and both men were getting tortured within an inch of their lives. "Deeks," she said firmly. "Deeks Sam is fine. You are fine. Please Deeks. Come back to me."

Deeks seemed to snap out of his trance for a brief moment. "Atta boy," Kensi smiled. "Let's get you back in your chair."

She reached out for him, but he backed away with a horrified shout, "don't touch me!"

"Deeks?" Kensi questioned tearfully. "Deeks it's me. It's Kensi."

It didn't register with him. He looked over at Sam, who was watching with a look of horror on his face. "Sam I'm coming!" Deeks shouted as he took another step back. "Just hang on!"

Deeks took one more step back and Kensi heard a loud snapping sound, followed by a sickening popping sound. Deeks hit the floor with a wail of agony. Kensi felt her stomach roll at the sight of bone sticking out of his right leg. Blood pooled around the injury as Deeks fought to roll over onto his belly. "Sam," he cried out. "Sam I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Kensi was still so stunned that she couldn't move as a team of nurses came rushing into the PT room and attempted to restrain Deeks. They had learned by now that when he got this way there was no choice but to sedate him and within seconds of their arrival he was already slipping into unconsciousness.

The nurses quickly put Deeks onto a gurney and rushed him past Sam and Michelle and down the hall. Kensi tried to blink the tears out of her eyes, "What in the hell just happened?" She shouted. "His right leg was fine… how did it just snap like that?"

Walter placed his arm around her shoulder, but she angrily shrugged it off. He took at step back from the seething woman before he spoke, "sometimes there are micro fractures that we can't see. They weaken the bone and leave it susceptible to breaks. I am not certain, but I suspect that is the case here."

Kensi didn't even bother looking back at the frightened man as she stormed toward Sam and Michelle. Sam was still staring at the spot where Deeks at fallen. His eyes had taken on a glassy sheen and he didn't seem to be completely aware of where he was at the moment. Kensi didn't care. She was too mad to care, "I told you to leave!" She shouted.

"Kensi I am so sorry," Michelle said sincerely. "I didn't know it was that bad for him."

"You didn't know?" Kensi laughed hysterically. "How could you not know? How? Did you really think that either of them would come out of this okay?"

"Sam's not acting out like that," Michelle realized almost instantly that those were the wrong words to say. Before she had time to react Kensi's fist connected with her nose, knocking her back on her ass. Michelle looked up at her in shock.

"He is not Sam," Kensi hissed. "And the only reason you want to see him so bad is so that Sam can clear his conscious. He has every right to feel guilty and I will be damned if I am going to let you push your way in where you are not wanted. You two need to stay the hell away from him. Do you understand me?"

Kensi stormed out of the PT without bothering to wait for an answer, or to look back. She knew it was cruel to say what she said, but she meant every word of it. Deeks wasn't ready to deal with seeing Sam yet, but Michelle pushed her way in and look at what happened. Kensi felt her chest tighten and tears burned at the back of her eyes. Thing had finally started to look up for Deeks and now this? How long will he be set back? How many surgeries is he going to have to have this time? How much longer will he be stuck in the damn hospital? And most importantly…how much more could he take before it becomes too much?


	13. Chapter 13

"What is wrong with him Doctor?" Kensi asked as she stared down at Deeks. He hadn't said a single word since the day he saw Sam in the PT room. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence or anyone's for that matter. He just lies in bed and stares blankly at the ceiling.

"He still will not eat?" Dr. El-Kebbi asks her.

Kensi sighed heavily, remembering all the different ways she tried to get her partner to eat. She even resorted to bringing Hetty in to order him to eat. Nothing worked. "No. He's not eating."

Dr. El-Kebbi scrubbed a hand down his face, "This is not good Miss Blye. I am afraid that we are left with no choice but to insert a feeding tube."

Kensi wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. They had probably gone to long as it was without taking the drastic step. "Okay," she said tearfully. It was ripping her apart on the inside to see him in the shape he was in. Sure, before this happened his moods were wild and unpredictable, but at least he was talking and interacting with her. Now…now it's like there is nothing but a shell there.

"Miss Blye I need to discuss the possibility of moving him to a psychiatric ward."

"What?" She snapped. "No. That is not going to happen."

"Miss Blye, we are not equipped to deal with this level of PTSD. He needs professional help."

She shook her head, "I said no. Find another way, but you are not sending him to the psych ward. I will not have this discussion again."

Dr. El-Kebbi grumbled under his breath before speaking to her again, "Very well. I will have a nurse come in to insert the feeding tube shortly."

After the doctor left Kensi took a seat next to her partner's bed and took his hand in hers, "Deeks," she said, while trying to control the cracking in her voice. "Deeks I need you to snap out of this. Please… just come back to us. I know that you are in there somewhere, you just need to find your way out. I know you can do it and I will be here waiting when you do." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and wiped tears from her face with her free hand.

"Miss Blye," Hetty said, startling Kensi.

"Hetty," Kensi said with a sniffle. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on my agent of course."

Kensi closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "they are putting in a feeding tube."

Hetty frowned and nodded her head, "I see."

Kensi ran her fingers through Deeks hair, "they want to move him to the psychiatric ward."

"And you said no," Hetty stated.

"I said no."

"May I ask why?" Hetty questioned.

Kensi looked at Hetty with the saddest eyes Hetty could ever remember seeing on the woman, "I remember going through this with Jack. I remember what that place did to him."

"But Mr. Deeks is not Jack my dear."

Kensi's bottom lip trembled as she spoke, "I can't watch it Hetty. I can't see that happen to someone that I l… I care about. He needs help, but not that kind of help."

Hetty nodded her head, "I understand."

Kensi was waiting for a "but"…none came. At least she had Hetty on her side. That was a slight weight off her shoulders. The nurse came walking into the room with the feeding tube in hand. Hetty placed her hand gently on Kensi's back and started ushering her toward the door, "Come on dear. You don't want to see this."

"But what if he needs me?" She questioned hesitantly.

"The will sedate him for the procedure," Hetty reassured her. "He will not even be aware of what is going on. Now come on… let me buy you a cup of coffee."

"Okay," Kensi said nervously. "Coffee sounds good right about now."

Hetty smiled broadly at the young woman as she ushered her down the hall towards the cafeteria. Throughout the years her agents had become like her children and it was heartbreaking for her to see them in their current states. Kensi was about to drive herself mad trying to take care of her injured partner. She hadn't been home in six weeks and Hetty knew better that to try and make her go. They had already had that conversation too many times. Thankfully, since Siderov is still on the run and Deeks is a key witness, Hetty had been able to assign Kensi as his protective detail, so Kensi at least still has her job.

They entered the cafeteria and Kensi came to a screeching halt when her eyes met with Nate's. "This was a set up," Kensi growled.

"I assure you I don't know what you are talking about," Hetty said slyly.

Nate motioned for Kensi to come sit down next to him and she reluctantly did as he requested. There was a cup of steaming hot coffee waiting for her. Kensi sat down and started at the coffee, but didn't pick it up.

"Don't worry," Nate said with a gentle smile. "I am not here for you."

Kensi furrowed her brow, "then why are you here Nate?"

He pushed her coffee toward her with his index finger and seemed pleased when she finally picked it up and took a sip. "I am here to make a deal with you."

Kensi gave him a suspicious look over the brim of the coffee cup, "A deal?"

"Yes, a deal. Hetty has kept me informed on what has been happening in the last two months and I have come to the hospital on several occasions to observe."

"You mean spy," Kensi said coldly.

"Observe," Nate reiterated. "I understand that Dr. El-Kebbi is wanting to place Deeks in the psychiatric ward."

Kensi slammed her coffee cup down, causing Nate to jump, "If you came here to try and talk me into allowing that to happen don't waste your breath or your time." She was about to get to her feet when Nate stopped her, "That is not what I was going to say. If you would just sit quite for one minute I could explain myself."

Kensi shot him another suspicious look, but sat back down and waited for him to explain.

Nate sighed heavily before speaking again, "Now I understand that you don't want to do that and as his medical proxy you have every right to make that decision. With that being said, Deeks is suffering from crippling, chronic depression and PTSD. He does need help and a lot of it."

"So what exactly are you proposing?" Kensi's voice was cold and edgy. She wasn't completely sure she like the way that this conversation was going.

"What I am proposing is that we sign Deeks out of the hospital and bring him somewhere more comfortable, like his apartment or your house. I will take over his mental care and we will try our best to pull him out of this. We will of course have to have a nurse come out to help with his medical care, but I think in home care will be a much better option for him than a psychiatric ward."

Kensi's breath caught in her throat, "You would do that for him?"

Nate blushed slightly, "It's my job to look after you guys. And even though Deeks isn't a member of NCIS he is one of you guys. So yes. I would be more than happy to do that for him."

"Oh Nate," Kensi squealed happily as she threw her arms around the surprised man. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Deeks will be so happy to find out that he is finally getting out of this hell hole!"

Nate pried Kensi's arms from around his neck, "I'm sure he will be."

"This is wonderful news," she said. "I've got to go make arrangements with Dr. El-Kebbi immediately."

"I have already talked with him," Hetty said from behind her. "He is just waiting for you to sign the paperwork and then Deeks will be released into the care of our good doctor."

Hetty couldn't recall seeing Kensi this happy in a very long time. It was a wonderful sight that brought a tear to her eye. Kensi quickly made her way down the hospital corridor, having to force herself not to actually run. As she rounded the corner she bumped into Callen, knocking him onto the ground. She laughed loudly as she helped him back to his feet.

"What has you in such a good mood?" He smiled.

"Deeks is going home," she beamed. "I'm on my way to tell him the good news."

"He is alert now?"

"No," her smiled faded slightly. "But once he hears the news we may be surprised."

Callen knew that Kensi was grasping at straws and wishing for a miracle, but who was he to burst her bubble? "That's great Kens," he said giving her a quick hug. Kensi turned on her heel and practically skipped down the hall. Callen watched her with a sad smile on his face. He prayed that Kensi would get her miracle. God knows she needed one.


	14. Chapter 14

"Here we are," Kensi chirped happily as she pushed Deeks through the door of her home. Deeks didn't respond; he just stared blankly ahead. Kensi hadn't expected him to respond, yet she couldn't help but feel a little disappointment. Katy, Deeks home nurse, pushed past Kensi and began to set up her equipment next to the hospital bed that now replaced her living room furniture.

Kensi locked the brakes on Deeks chair and knelt down in front of him, "we are home now." She rubbed his arm gently, "do you recognize this place at all?"

Deeks blinked, but did not respond. Kensi had to fight back the tears that were pooling in her eyes. It was so hard to see a man once so full of life be reduced to nothing more than a blank slate. She ruffled his hair as she got to her feet, "Let's get you into bed."

Katy helped Kensi get Deeks I into the hospital bed and she began to hook him up to the monitors and equipment that surrounded the bed. Once she was finished she checked his vitals and said her goodbyes, telling Kensi to call her if she needs anything and that she would be back in the morning to check on him.

"Thank you," Kensi said as she shut the door behind her. Once Katy was gone Kensi headed into the kitchen to sort through the supplies that the hospital had given her. She still wasn't sure how Hetty got the hospital to agree to letting Deeks go… there was so much involved in his care. She pulled out the bottles of liquid nutrition that she was supposed to give him every six hours through the feeding tube inserted up his nose. She wrinkled her nose at the brown, thick liquid and shuddered. It was disgusting, but it kept him alive, so she was happy. The next thing to come out of the bag was the massive amount of medication that Deeks was on. Painkillers and antibiotics for his leg, several different antidepressants for his PTSD, and sleep aids for his insomnia.

Thankfully Deeks wasn't completely gone. If you brought him to the bathroom he went and was even able to clean himself up afterwards. She was so grateful that she didn't have to take care of that part of his care. He still refused to eat or take his medication, so all of that went up the feeding tube. He didn't seem to like it, but didn't fight it.

Kensi sat the last of his medication on the counter and sighed, taking a long look around her house. She hadn't stepped foot inside the house in two months, yet it was clean as a whistle… not a speck of dust anywhere. Somehow she knew that Hetty was behind that little miracle. She looked down at her watch, seeing that it was almost three in the afternoon. "Nate should be arriving soon," she told Deeks.

Right on cue, there was a knock at the door. She opened it up and found Nate standing on the other side with Callen, who had Monty on a leash. Kensi stared down at the scruffy dog in surprise. With everything that had happened she completely forgot about poor Monty.

"We were hoping that bringing Monty by would do him some good," Callen said with a shrug.

Kensi gestured for them to come inside. Callen unclipped the leash and Monty immediately headed toward his masters side, propping his front paws on the bed and sniffing at Deeks hand. When Deeks didn't respond Monty whined and nudged his hand. There was still no response from Deeks and Monty whined again. Callen looked away and for a brief moment Kensi swore that she saw a tear in his eye. She walked over to Monty and scratched him between the ears, "Don't worry boy. He will be okay. We just need to give him a little time." Kensi honestly didn't know if she was trying to convince the dog, or herself.

"Do you mind if he stays here with you guys for a while?" Callen asked quietly.

"He can stay as long as he likes," Kensi said, scratching Monty behind the ears once more. Monty wagged his tail happily and licked her hand.

"Why don't you go get some rest," Nate said to Kensi. "I will sit here and watch him."

Kensi shook her head, "No. I'm fine."

Nate gave her a displeased look and Kensi huffed her irritation, "fine. Maybe I will go take a bubble bath."

"You want me to grab you two some take out?" Callen asked.

"Chinese would be great," Kensi said before disappearing into her bedroom. She walked into her bathroom and turned the water on and poured in some bubbles. As the tub filled with suds and steamy water she undressed, dropping her clothes to the floor and climbing into the nearly scalding hot water. She leaned back in the tub and closed her eyes. She honestly thought that being home would be better than being at the hospital, but it didn't seem that much different to be honest. Once the water was high enough she turned it off with her foot. She was so tired. Not just physically, but mentally as well. She would stand by her partner for as long as he needed her to and she was happy to do it. There was no question in her mind that Deeks would do the same… probably more… for her. The only question that kept running through her mind though, was how much more could she take before she broke? She has always been a strong person, but she had never had her strength tested like this before. She didn't know if she was capable of getting him through this. She closed her eyes once more and tried to block out the negative thoughts. Kensi was much more tired than she thought, because within minutes she was sound asleep.

When Kensi opened her eyes again her water was freezing and Callen was beating on the door like he was trying to break it down. She was disoriented at first, but once she got her bearing she quickly let Callen know that was okay and that she had just fallen asleep.

"You need to get out here," Callen said with a hint of urgency in his voice.

Kensi's heart leapt into her throat as she jumped out of the icy water and wrapped a towel around her before opening the door up, "What's wrong?"

Callen had a smile on his face and Kensi felt a spark of hope, "Just come see."

He led Kensi into the living room, where she saw that Monty was lying in Deeks bed with his head resting in Deeks lap. Kensi was just about to protest the fact that Monty was getting the sheets all dirty until she saw what had gotten Callen so excited. Deeks was gently scratching Monty between the ears and the dog looked like he was in heaven. Kensi couldn't help the smile that broke out across her face. It had been the first time that Deeks had acknowledged another's presence in the past two weeks.

"Pet therapy has always showed positive results," Nate whispered into her ear. "It isn't much, but we will take what we get."

Kensi half laughed/ half sobbed, "I'll take it."

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she watched Deeks scratching his dog behind the ears. It was more than she could have hoped for in such a short period of time. Maybe Monty was just what they needed to bring him back to the land of the living. Maybe there was hope after all.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello All,

Again I must apologize for how quickly this was written. Unfortunately my Boss doesn't think that writing fan ficiton is actually real work (if only it was), so I have to write on my breaks. So just try to ignore the blatant grammatical errors and shoddy sentence structure :) I would also like to thank everyone for the glowing reviews. I get so excited when I see a review in my inbox. It's like Christmas every day!

Enjoy!

One week later…

Kensi was standing in the kitchen washing up the dishes from diner. Nate had just left about an hour ago and she was getting ready to retire for the night. She had just given Deeks some of the brown goo through his feeding tube and turned on the television so that he had something to watch. She never wanted to put on anything that could possibly upset him in anyway, so it was always on cartoon. She was just getting ready to feed Monty when she heard the familiar theme song of SpongeBob.

She found herself humming along to the song as she dumped Monty's dry food into his bowl. The dog greedily devoured his kibble, spilling out of the bowl and onto the floor. Kensi just rolled her eyes and walked away, knowing that he would clean up the mess for her. She poured herself a glass of wine at flopped down on her couch, which now sat at the foot of Deeks bed. Since he arrived, she decided not to sleep in her bedroom. She wanted to be close in case he needed her.

Katy had been by earlier and informed Kensi that Deeks was due to have the cast removed from his left leg tomorrow. She it should have been good news, but she knew that Deeks would still have his right leg in a cast for the next few weeks and that having the cast removed meant nothing in his current condition. Deeks had shown some signs of life over the past week and for that she was grateful, but it wasn't enough. She wanted more. She wanted her partner back.

She took a sip of her wine and settled back with a book. Monty finished eating and hopped onto the couch with her, laying his head in her lap. She gave him a playful scratch behind the ear and his tail beat wildly against her leg.

"Traitor," a weak voice came from the hospital bed.

Kensi sat up so quickly that she dropped her wine to the carpet. She couldn't believe it. Deeks was staring right at her… like he was really looking at her. Did he really just speak?

"What?" Kensi asked dumbly.

Deeks lips curled into a half attempted smile, "Monty is a traitor."

"Oh my God," Kensi said, throwing the covers to the floor and rushing over to his side. "You… you are… Oh my God." She was at a complete loss for words. Monty barked excitedly behind her.

Deeks smiled groggily at her, "do I really have to watch SpongeBob? What am I? Four?"

Kensi laughed, even as tears fell from her eyes, "You can watch anything that you want."

Deeks suddenly got a very concerned look on his face, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Kensi smiled, "I'm just really glad to see that you are awake."

He furrowed his brow, "How long was I out of it?"

"A few weeks," Kensi said as she wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "We brought you home…well to my house and set you up here, hoping it would help bring you out of it."

Deeks cast his eyes down to the covers, "I'm sorry I worried you."

"No," Kensi said sternly, lifting his chin so that their eyes met once again. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about."

Deeks gave her his best puppy dog eyes, "so what's a guy got to do around here for a cheeseburger?"

They were the most beautiful words Kensi had ever heard. He was awake, alert and hungry! She couldn't have asked for more. Nate had warned her ahead of time that it could take months from him to gradually pull himself out of this, or he could come out of it just as quickly as he fell into it.

"I will call Callen now," she said as she rushed to the phone. Her hands were shaking so much that she could barely dial his number.

"Hey," he answered. "What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at Sam's house. He got released today. Why what is wrong?"

Kensi chose to ignore the fact that Sam was now home, "I need a cheeseburger with no mayo and extra cheese, plus a large fry, a Coke and an ice cream Sunday with nuts."

"Jesus Kensi," Callen sighed. "Didn't you just eat like an hour ago?"

"It's not for me," she said, barely able to hold onto her excitement. "It's for Deeks."

"What?"

"Yeah. He just woke up, called Monty a traitor, complained about SpongeBob and asked for a cheeseburger."

"I'm on my way," he said happily. "You want me to call Nate?"

"Yes. Call Nate and then Hetty. Let them know that he is coherent."

"That is great news Kens. I will be there in ten." He disconnected the call and Kensi headed back over to Deeks.

He was twitching his nose and crossing his eyes, "What is that thing?" He questioned.

"It's a feeding tube," Kensi said sadly. "The doctors put it in a week ago."

"A feeding tube?" He seemed surprised. "Was that really necessary?"

"Unless you wanted us to let you starve to death… then yes?"

"Can I take it out?"

"Katy will take it out. I'm going to call her now."

"Who is Katy?"

Kensi pulled out her phone and dialed Katy's number, "She is your nurse."

"Is she hot?" Deeks waggled his eyebrows.

Kensi laughed, "Yeah. She's hot."

"This is Katy," the nurse answered the phone.

"Katy, hey it's Kensi. Deeks is awake and wants his feeding tube removed."

There was a short pause on the other end of the line and Kensi could hear Katy getting dressed, "He asked for you to take it out?" She sounded happily surprised.

"After complaining about SpongeBob and telling me that he was starving."

"I will be there in five minutes," she said before hanging up the phone.

Kensi ended the call and had to use every ounce of her restraint not to do a victory dance right there in the living room. There were so many times since this whole ordeal began that she thought she had lost the scruffy haired blonde that she cared so much for and each and every time it felt like her world was falling apart. She kicked herself daily for waiting so long to realize how much she cared for Deeks. As she watched him joyfully petting and talking gibberish to Monty, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved him. There was nothing that she wouldn't do for Deeks and she was an idiot for not seeing what had been standing right in front of her all those years. No more though… no more running, no more hiding and no more refusing to see the truth. Kensi Blye was in love and it was about time she let him know exactly how she felt. Now all she had to do was wait for the right time.


	16. Chapter 16

Hello everyone,

So I know I skipped ahead a bit in the story, but I didn't want to beat a dead horse. We can all tell by now that Deeks has some rather serious mental issues, but things are starting to look up a little and I didn't want to just tell the same old story over and over again. So here we are now six weeks later.

Six weeks later…

Deeks finally had the cast removed from his left leg. The past six weeks had gone somewhat back to normal, but he was still having night terrors and occasional flashbacks during the day. Kensi had gotten used to this by now and had learned how to pull him back to reality more easily. Things had improved so much that she was actually going back to work three days a week. Of course Deeks was right there with her, but at least she was working (even if it was just pushing papers). Hetty was pleased to see that Deeks had made so much progress, though she was fully aware that the young man had not dealt with his issue, but compartmentalized them. It wasn't the healthiest option, but she would take it over the alternative.

Deeks was set to begin his physical therapy in two days. Kensi was nervous to say the least. The last time Deeks attended PT his whole world came crashing down around him. It was a scary thought that it may happen again. The entire car ride home Deeks was quite and that concerned Kensi.

"Hey," she said as they came to a red light. "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About what?"

Deeks gave her a half hearted smile, "Nothing important."

Kensi knew not to push him, because he would just shut her down. He would talk to her when he was ready. The light turn green and Kensi pulled out into the intersection, "You want to grab a bite to eat?"

He shook his head, "No. I just want to go home and take a shower."

Kensi pulled into the driveway of her home and put the car in park, "A shower? You just took a shower this morning."

"Well I want to take another. Is that a crime?"

Kensi sighed heavily, "No. I'm just a little worried, that's all."

"Don't be. I'm fine." He swung his legs around so that they were hanging outside the car. Kensi went around to the trunk and pulled out his wheelchair and parked it in front of him. Over the past few weeks Deeks had gained enough strength in his legs so that he could at least lift himself up into a standing position. Kensi was grateful for that, because she knew how humiliating it was for him to depend on her for everything. She waited patiently for him to get into his chair before she wheeled him to the front door. Once inside he headed straight to the bathroom and closed the door. Kensi knew something was up and she didn't know weather she should call Nate or not. She waited until she heard the sound of the water coming on before she walked into the kitchen, knowing that Deeks didn't start the shower until he was seated on the bench she had installed.

She made herself a sandwich and listened intently for any sound of distress coming from the bathroom. After polishing off her sandwich she pulled a load of clean laundry out of the dryer and began to fold it. Once she had the laundry folded and put away she looked down at her watch. Deeks had been in there a long time. She knocked on the door, "Deeks? You okay?" The water was no longer running and there wasn't a lot of movement going on.

"I'm fine," he said irritably. "Just give me a minute."

"Okay," Kensi said defensively.

She went into her bedroom and began to make her bed. Four weeks ago she got sick of sleeping on the couch... it was uncomfortable and lumpy. So Callen helped her move Deeks bed into her bedroom, which made life so much easier for her and she could actually get a good nights sleep. She quickly made both the beds and took the glasses from the side table and put them in the kitchen.

She walked back to the bathroom door and knocked, "Do you need me to bring you any clothes?"

"Please," he said.

"Sleepy clothes?"

"Jeans and a tee-shirt."

Kensi was thrown off a little by that. Deeks pretty much wore he pajamas all the time these days. She shrugged it off and headed into her room, where she had a dresser set up for Deeks. She dug through the drawers and picked out a pair of blue jeans that she hadn't cut the legs out of so that he could get his cast through. She held the jeans up and frowned. Deeks had lost so much weight in the past four months that the jeans were going to be way to big for him. She pulled a belt out of the top drawer and then grabbed a tee-shirt from the closet that she now shared with him. Before heading to the bathroom she remembered to grab him a pair of boxers. She knocked on the door and he opened it a crack. She shoved the clothes through and he shut the door again.

She could hear him struggling to get into his clothes, but knew that it was something that he had to do for himself. He had too much pride these days to let her help him with much of anything. Nate said it was a good thing. The fact that Deeks didn't rely on her for every little thing, meant that he had made significant progress. She wasn't so sure about that, but she had not choice but to believe him.

The bathroom door opened and Deeks wheeled himself out. Kensi turned around to ask him if he was sure he wasn't hungry but when she saw him she was so shocked that she couldn't speak. He stared up at her innocently, "what?"

Kensi still couldn't believe what she was seeing, "You cut your hair." All of his scruffy blonde locks were gone, leaving him with about an inch of neatly groomed hair sitting atop his head. "And you shaved." She was floored when she realized that there was not a single hair on his face… it was smooth as a baby's butt. Deeks cleaned up nicely and had done a great job of cutting his hair… it looked like a professional cut. But with that being said only one question popped into Kensi mind, "Why?"

He rolled past her and into the living room, "I want you to take me to see Sam," he said bluntly.

Kensi's jaw nearly hit the ground, "What?"

"I want to see Sam," he reiterated.

"Do you think that is a good idea?" She questioned as memories from his past meeting with Sam plagued her.

"If you don't take me I will just take the bus." Deeks was serious and she knew it. Kensi wasn't sure of what she should do.

"Let me grab my keys," she said as she rushed back into her bedroom. Quickly she dialed Nate's number.

"Hey Kensi," he answered. "What's up?"

"He wants to see Sam," she whispered into the phone.

"Come again?"

"He cut off all his hair, shaved and is now saying that he wants to go see Sam and that if I don't take him he will just take the bus. What do I do?"

"Take him to see Sam," Nate answered immediately.

"But you know what happened the last time he saw Sam."

"Take him to see Sam. I will meet you there."

"I don't think this is a good idea," she whispered frantically.

"Kensi," Nate sighed. "He is finally facing his problem and by him asking you to take him there, that means that he wants to share that with you. It is a good thing. It is what we have been wishing for the last four months. Just take him to Sam house and I will meet you there."

Kensi hung up the phone and resisted the urge to throw at the wall. Deeks had made so much progress and things had finally gotten to a more manageable level with his care. The last thing she needed, or wanted was another setback. If this went south… if Deeks reverted back to how he was six weeks ago… Kensi was going to murder Nate.

Kensi loaded Deeks back into the car and headed over to Sam's house. She had sent a courtesy text to Michelle to let her know when they would be arriving. Michelle responded to her quite quickly, telling her that they would be waiting. Kensi didn't know if that was a bad thing or a good thing. The entire ride over to Sam's house was silent. Kensi kept taking quick glances at Deeks, noting each time that though he looked nice with his short hair and clean shaved face, he didn't look like Deeks. Before long they were pulling into Sam's driveway. Nate was there as promised, but to Kensi's surprise so was Hetty and Callen. Nate must have called in reinforcements.

Kensi pushed Deeks wheel chair around to the side of the car and tried not to let herself hyperventilate as really horrible scenarios danced through her head. Once he was seated she began to push him up the driveway, but Deeks stopped her, "I can do it," he said quietly. Again, she wanted to argue, but decided to let it go.

Deeks struggled up the incline of the driveway and up the ramp that Callen had installed for Sam when he got out of the hospital. He rang the doorbell and Kensi found herself holding her breath. Michelle opened the door and did a double take at Deeks appearance. "Hey," she said humbly. "Come on in. Sam is in the kitchen."

Michelle held the door open and Deeks rolled himself into the house, pausing for a b brief moment, "Thank you," he said softly and then disappeared around the corner into the kitchen.

Kensi brushed past Michelle with out even bothering to acknowledge her. She was still so angry at how the woman had behaved toward her partner that she couldn't even look at her without feeling sick to her stomach. Nate, Callen and Hetty all said a quick hello as they filed in. Kensi had walked around the corner and was standing in the kitchen entrance, but went no further than that. She was surprised to see that Sam no longer needed a wheelchair and was now using a cane. She felt a momentary flash of anger that her partner was still in a wheelchair and it was because of him and his need to clear his conscience.

Sam was sitting in a stool at the counter and he stood when Deeks came in. Deeks rolled over to the counter, locked the brakes on his chair and then worked his way into a standing position so that he was face to face with Sam. Both men stood like that for what seemed like an eternity. Kensi could tell by the way Deeks legs were shaking that he was both in pain and having a difficult time maintaining an upright position.

Finally Deeks spoke and the anger in his voice and in his face was not hard to miss, "I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you are better than me."

"Deeks," Sam said softly. "I shouldn't have said what I said to you. It was wrong of me. I apologize man."

Deeks grabbed a hold of the counter and shifted his weight to it, "I said look me in the eye and tell me that you are better than me. That you, Mr. Navy Seal, somehow hold more merit and honor than a man like me."

Sam shook his head, "I can't do that."

"Why the hell not?" Deeks shouted.

"Because it isn't true," Sam voice cracked slightly. "What you did for me… what you did for Michelle… I could never repay you. I questioned your character based on your looks and your attitude. It was stupid of me to do that, because I didn't know you at all. You are a better man that me and… and… I'm sorry for what I said to you." A fat tear rolled down Sam's face and Kensi heard Michelle sniffle behind her.

Sam wiped the tear away with the back of his hand, "I can't stop thinking about it. None of it. I can't sleep. I can't eat. It's all I think about. If I could have traded places with you I would have in a second. You shouldn't have gone through what you did. It wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry for what he did to you. I'm sorry for the pain that he caused you because of my family. But just know… I would do it for you without a moment's hesitation. We survived something that most people wouldn't have. We walked through hell and came out the other side. You are my brother. This is a burden that we share now. I owe you my life Deeks and I should have said thank you for that a long time ago."

Deeks stood there for a moment staring at Sam. All the anger had drained for his face and was now replaced with exhaustion. Kensi could see that Deeks was holding himself together as best he could, but his emotions were starting to get the best of him. Deeks bottom lip began to tremble and Kensi made a move to go to his side, but was stopped by Nate grabbing her arm.

"Man I am so sorry," Sam sniffled as he reached out and pulled Deeks into a hug. Kensi waited with baited breath for Deeks to react, but the only thing Deeks did was return the hug.

"It's okay Sam," Deeks said tearfully. "It's okay."

Kensi felt an overwhelming sense of relief as she watched her partner embrace the man that he had gone through so much with. Tears sprang to her eyes as she realized that Nate was right… this was the first step to recovery for both of the men. Sure, there was still a residual anger there (at least on her part) for what happened in the physical therapy room, but Deeks and Sam getting their feelings off their chest was a step forward.

Kensi heard sniffling behind her and she turned to find that there was not a dry eye in the house… even the unshakable Hetty had teared up.


	17. Chapter 17

Howdy everyone,

This is a relatively short chapter, but I think you will like it. Enjoy!

The next morning…

For the first time in four months Deeks slept through an entire night without having a nightmare. Kensi had been awake for a while when Deeks finally began to stir. His eyes slowly opened and squinted against the soft rays of sunlight that danced across his face. She couldn't recall the last time he looked so peaceful. It was a beautiful sight. It was so much better than the screaming, clawing terror that he normally woke up to.

"Morning sunshine," his thick surfer drawl was heavy with sleep.

"Morning," Kensi smiled. She felt a flutter in her stomach when he smiled back. There was a slight chill in the room and Kensi shivered. Well…maybe it wasn't the chill as much as it was the intensely sultry stare of her partner.

"Are you cold?" Deeks asked worriedly.

Kensi pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, "maybe a little."

Deeks carefully pulled himself out of bed and after making sure that he was steady on his feet he grabbed the blanket from his bed and fell onto her bed.

"What are you doing?" She laughed.

Deeks struggled to pull himself into a sitting position, "Since I can't really walk yet I found that falling is just an easier way to get around." Kensi laughed and helped pull him into a sitting position so that he was facing her. He then proceeded to drape his blanket around her shoulders. She could still feel his warmth trapped with the fabric.

"Thank you," Kensi blushed.

"Well it's the least I could do," he said as he tightened the cover around her. She knew he was trying to be slick… she had her own blanket she could have used. But she didn't mind at all. Deeks flopped back onto Kensi's spare pillow and stared up at the ceiling, "I'll move in a minute, but I need to build my strength back up before I do."

It was a load of hooey and she knew it, but she played along and decided to add a little hooey of her own, "Now you look cold."

Deeks shrugged his shoulders, placing his arms behind his head, "It is a little chilly in here, but I'm going to do the chivalrous thing and not take my cover back."

Kensi chewed on her bottom lip, "we could always share it you know?"

Deeks quirked an eyebrow at her, "Kensi Blye…share? I didn't think that was possible."

"Hey," she chuckled, playfully punching him in the arm. "I share."

Deeks snorted a laugh, "Sharing would be nice."

Kensi removed the blanket and lay down next to Deeks, draping the cover over both of them. Her heart skipped a beat when he brought his arm down and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her in closer to his body. As they lay there in the silence of the early morning Kensi snuggled tightly into the crook of his arm and laid her head on his chest. It was a new experience for her, but it felt right…not weird like she thought it would. She could feel his warm breath on the top of her head and the butterflies in her stomach exploded. She had said that she would tell him how she felt, but she just had to wait for the right time. She swallowed hard when she realized that this was the right time.

She had a long speech planned out… she had been working on it for weeks, but when she opened her mouth nothing would come out. She closed her mouth again and chewed on her lip as the thought about what to say. Why was this so hard?

"Thank you," Deeks interrupted her thoughts.

"What?"

He gave her shoulder another squeeze, "I said thank you for everything that you have done for me. I honestly don't know how you did it. I was such a mess… I still am. But you stuck around and that is more than anyone has ever done for me before. So thank you Kensi… for being my friend and for being there for me when I needed you. You're my girl and I don't know what I would do without you."

"I love you," Kensi blurted out.

"You huh?" Deeks questioned, looking down at her. His deep blue eyes wandered over her face and Kensi felt light headed. "I… I love you," she said with a smile.

Deeks stared at her for a moment with a look of shock on his face and Kensi thought the she may have made a huge mistake. Sure they had made out a time or two before, but that doesn't mean you love someone. Maybe she read the signals wrong and she just made a fool of herself. Her cheeks flushed and she suddenly felt like an idiot. She was trying think of a way to backpedal, but nothing was coming to mind. Just as she was starting to panic she heard Deeks clear his throat, "Do you know how long I have waited for you to say those words to me?"

Kensi nearly cried with relief, "What?"

Deeks gently traced the backs of his fingers down her jawbone, sending electric shocks pulsing over her skin, "I love you too," he whispered, just before leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips.

Kensi rolled over and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in close to her as their kiss deepened. Her heart hammered in her chest as she felt his hand traced the exposed skin on the small of her back. He rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him. Kensi straddled him and came up for air from the kiss. Both of them were breathing heavily with dopey grins plastered across their faces.

"Well that's a pretty damn good wake up call," Deeks chuckled.

"You think that's good?" Kensi teased as she leaned in for another kiss. Deeks rested his hands on her hips and she felt a flare of heat surge through her body. That was when she knew that she wanted more… more than just kissing…more than just words…she wanted it all. She broke away from the kiss just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Deeks growled seductively as he pulled the covers over their heads. It was a morning that neither of them would forget for the rest of their lives. It was when all walls that had been erected over time were torn down and all inhibitions and rules were forgotten. It was a new beginning for old friends.


	18. Chapter 18

Later that day…

Kensi watched intently as Deeks struggled across the parallel bars. Walter walked behind Deeks with his wheel chair in case he needed to sit down or in case he fell. Kensi was nervous… she could tell that he was in pain, but she was also proud…nothing was going to stop him from walking once again. Kensi gasped when she saw him trip up a little, but she relaxed when she saw that Walter had everything under control.

"He is doing really well," Michelle's voice appeared behind her, causing her to start slightly.

Kensi turned around to see Sam standing next to Michelle, both of them watching Deeks. Kensi quickly turned her attention back to her partner, "yeah he is. He is determined."

"Is it okay if we stay?" Sam asked.

"Do you have therapy today?" She questioned without taking her eyes off of Deeks.

"No," Sam stated. "I just know what he is going through and I would like to… cheer him on."

Deeks reached the end of the bars and Walter lowered him down into his chair. Kensi noticed the white knuckled grip that Deeks had on the arm of the chair and the pained look on his face as he struggled to take in a breath. Walter turned the chair around and attempted to get Deeks out of the chair again, but Deeks only shook his head. He was in pain… so much pain. Kensi took a step towards her hurting partner, but was stopped when Sam gently grabbed her arm, "let me talk to him." When Kensi hesitated Sam sent her a pleading look, "Please."

Kensi nodded and Sam limped his way toward Deeks. Michelle held her head high as she watched her husband kneel down next to Deeks and placed his hand on his back. Kensi watched with worry. Sure Deeks and Sam seemed to have made things right between each other, but that didn't mean that everything was perfect. Sam was speaking to Deeks and it was driving Kensi nuts that she couldn't hear what he was saying. Sam muttered something else to Deeks, which caused the detective to start nodding his head. Sam extended his hand and when Deeks took it, he helped pull the detective to his feet. Kensi watched tearfully as every painful step that Deeks took Sam was right there with him, urging and cheering him along.

When Deeks reached the end of the bars he collapsed into his chair and buried his face in his hands. It was obvious by the shaking of his shoulders that he was crying. Walter signaled Kensi, letting her know that Deeks session was complete. As she rushed over to her partner's side Sam crouched down next to Deeks and rested his arm on his shoulders.

"You did good," Sam said sincerely.

Deeks sucked in a deep, ragged breath as he tried to regain control of his emotions, "That sucked," he said as he wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Do you want something for the pain?" Kensi asked as she began rooting around in her purse.

Deeks shook his head and sniffled, "No. I'm good. I just don't want to do that again. Like ever."

Sam chuckled, "It gets easier. You should have seen my first time tackling the bars. I busted my ass twice. The second time I took poor Walter down with me."

Deeks chuckled, "No… really?"

Sam held up two fingers, "Scouts honor. I thought I killed the poor bastard."

"Sweet," Deeks said with a maniacal smile.

"Yeah. It felt pretty good."

"You two are mean," Kensi snorted. "He is just doing his job."

"It still felt good," Sam retorted.

"You guys feel like getting some take out?" Michelle questioned. "Maybe some Chinese?"

"I don't think so," Deeks said with a grimace. "I am so sick of Chinese food. Maybe some Italian?"

Kensi shrugged her shoulders, "I don't care, just as long as it is edible."

"And even that doesn't matter," Deeks said playfully.

Kensi gave him a dirty look, "I will remember that Mister."

"Around six then?" Michelle asked. "Our house?"

Deeks looked to Kensi to see what she thought. She gave him a quick nod, "sounds like a plan."

"Great," Sam said with a smile. "See you then."

"Bye," Deeks waved as he started pushing himself toward the locker room.

Once Sam and Michelle were gone Kensi rushed to catch up with Deeks, "Woah Speedy," she said as she took over piloting the wheelchair.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said, resting his hands in his lap.

"Do you need any help?"

"Does the lady want to go for round two?"

She playfully smacked him in the back of the head, "Ew… it is a locker room. No… that is just gross. Plus you need to learn to count. It would be more like round four."

They entered the empty locker room and Kensi was assaulted with the scent of sweat and mold. Deeks laughed, "I didn't know that we were keeping count."

Kensi turned Deeks around so that he was facing her. She leaned over, placing her hands on the arms of his wheelchair, "there is a lot you don't know," she said just before kissing him softly. "But it will be fun for you to find out."

"Mmmmm," Deeks moaned. "I really like that idea."

Kensi ruffled his hair and chuckled, "but seriously. You looked like you were in a lot of pain out there. Do you need any help?"

He shook his head, "Nah… I got this. You can bring me my clothes though."

"Deal," she said, giving him a small peck on the lips.

Deeks rolled away to the shower room and Kensi went to his locker to get his bag. She paused when she noticed that his lock was hanging askew on the locker. She could have sworn that she locked that before they went out. She shrugged her shoulders, opened up the locker and grabbed his gym bag. Something felt off about the bag though… it was heavier than is should have been and something bulky was moving around inside. Kensi flopped the bag down on the counter and unzipped it. She began digging around through Deeks clothes until her fingers brushed across the cool metal of the offending object. When she pulled the hunk of metal out she felt as if her heart had stopped beating all together. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably as her wide eyes took in the horrid image before her. It was the device that had been used to hold Deeks mouth open while Siderov's men drilled holes into his teeth. In between the bars was a poloaroid picture of Deeks and Sam at the parallel bars. Written on the picture in bright red letters was the words _I'M BACK_

"Oh my God," Kensi gasped as she pulled her gun from her purse and her eyes frantically searched the locker room for anyone who could have put the damn thing in Deeks bag. "Deeks," she gasped, running to the back where her partner was showering. When she reached the back she could hear the water still running. Carefully, she began to check the empty shower stalls.

"Deeks?" She questioned, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. She didn't want him to know what she had found. There was no telling what it would do to him.

"Yeah cupcake?" He said, poking his soapy head out from behind the shower curtain.

Kensi tucked her gun behind her back and leaned against the wall, "Just wanting to make sure that you are okay."

"I'm fine," he said, popping his head back into the shower.

Kensi let out a relieved breath before continuing to search the stalls. After they all turned up empty she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Callen's number.

"Hey Kens," he answered. "How did Deeks' PT session go?"

"Get over here now," she whispered tearfully into the phone.

"What is wrong?" He asked as she heard the engine of his car turn over.

Kensi felt sick to her stomach and weak in her knees. She fell back against the wall and slid to the floor. A sob caught in her throat and she had to swallow past the bile in her throat.

"Kensi?" Callen shouted.

"He was hear Callen," she cried. "He was in the building with us."

"Who?"

"Siderov."

"Son of a bitch!" Callen cursed. "Is Deeks okay?"

"He doesn't know and it needs to stay that way. I've got my eye on him, but you need to call Michelle and tell her. They just left here."

"Don't leave the building until I get there," Callen demanded.

"Okay," Kensi sniffled before hanging up the phone. She forced herself to take a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her heart hammered in her chest and it took every bit of self restraint that she had not to scream at the top of her lungs. This couldn't be happening… not again.


	19. Chapter 19

That night…

Deeks and Kensi pulled into Michelle and Sam's driveway and Kensi put the car in park. She stayed in the car until Michelle opened the front door and Callen pulled in behind her. Deeks turned around in his seat to look at Callen and frowned, "I thought that was Callen following us from the gym. Why is Callen following us from the gym?"

"He's coming to dinner," Kensi smiled.

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her, "Is everything okay?"

Kensi pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded her head, "Everything is fine."

"Now I know your lying," Deeks said suspiciously.

Kensi gave him her best faux smile and got out the car to retrieve his wheelchair. In her purse she carried the mouth separator and it felt like it weight a thousand pounds. She got chair out while Callen kept watch. Kensi was so caught up in her own worrying thoughts she was taken off guard when another car pulled into the driveway. She spun around reaching for her weapon but Callen stopped her, "It's just Hetty and the others."

Kensi tucked her gun back into her waist and forced herself to take in a shaky breath before pulling the chair out the rest of the way and bringing it around to Deeks. Once Deeks was situated in his chair he noticed Hetty, Nell, Eric and Nate walking up the drive. Eric was carrying a large brown paper bag with Alfie's Italian Resturant's logo stamped on the front.

"I hope that you will find this to be sufficient?" Hetty said, pausing in front of Deeks and motioning toward the bag to Eric was carrying.

Deeks eyeballed the team suspiciously, "what's up guys?"

"We decided to do a little team bonding Mr. Deeks. It has been a long time since we all dined together."

"Uh-huh," he said, not taking his eyes off of Hetty. "And do you always carry a .45 to diner?"

"This old thing?" Hetty asked as she opened up her jacket to reveal the Colt .45 tucked into her waist band. "It is just a precaution that all agents must take. You know the saying Mr. Deeks. Don't get caught with you pants around you ankles…"

"And don't get caught without a gun," he finished.

"Why don't we head inside?" Kensi offered impatiently.

"Sounds good to me," Deeks said. "I'm starving."

As Kensi pushed him toward the door he couldn't help but notice how the team seemed to be circling his chair. Hetty walked to his right, while Callen walked to his left and Hetty took the lead, making sure to stay directly in front of him.

"What is up with you guys?" He questioned with a chuckle.

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, without turning to face him. "We are just joining you for diner."

They reached the front door and Michelle opened it, inviting them in with a smile, "Sam is in the basement," she said warmly. "Callen installed a lift a few months back, so it should be easy to get you down Deeks."

"Since when do you eat diner in the basement?" Deeks asked irritably. Kensi nervously twirled her hair… Deeks was too damn smart sometimes. This isn't going to work. He was going to find out and then all the progress he made was going to be lost.

"You should see what we have done with the basement Marty. Callen has put so much work into it and we just want to show it off," Michelle played it cool and Deeks seemed to relax slightly, but Kensi could still see the tension in his shoulders.

"I'm going to help them get the food ready," Kensi said. "Callen, will you and Nate help Deeks downstairs?"

"Yeah," Callen said. "Just let me grab a beer. You want one Nate? Deeks?"

"Sure," Nate shrugged.

"A beer sounds good," Deeks added. "I haven't had a beer in… well a long time."

Kensi was impressed. She knew what Callen was doing… the beer was a distraction. If Deeks were to see him drinking he would know that there was nothing going on, because Callen would never drink if he was on a case.

Once the guys had gone downstairs Kensi walked into the kitchen where Michelle was angrily chopping the lettuce for the salad. Hetty and Nell were both standing there silently watching.

"Well?" Michelle snorted. "Let me see it." She brought the knife down hard on the chopping block, sending lettuce flying everywhere.

Kensi reached into her purse and pulled the separator out and laid it on the counter. Just the sight of it made her stomach sour as the mental image of that thing being forced into Deeks mouth assaulted her. Michelle stopped chopping the lettuce and let the knife clatter to the counter. "Oh dear God," Michelle whispered tearfully as her eyes took in the torture device.

Kensi lost the fight with her stomach and rushed over to the garbage can and began to vomit. Nell walked over to her and held her hair back for her, while Hetty reached out and removed the Polaroid lodged within it. Hetty stared at the picture for a moment before she crumpled it in her hand and let it fall to the floor, "that bastard," she hissed.

Kensi finished emptying the contents of her stomach and fell back against the island, allowing herself to slide down to the floor. Her mind was in overdrive and her head felt like it was going to split right open. She tried to think back on the wonderful morning she had spent with Deeks, but the only images that would come to mind was of him lying in the dumpster… tossed away like trash by a monster.

Michelle knelt down next to Kensi and placed a hand on hers, "we know this time. We can protect them this time." Her voice wavered and Kensi could hear the uncertainty in it, but she nodded her head anyway.

"Damn right we will," Hetty added.

"How do we do this without them knowing about it?" Nell asked. "They aren't stupid and Deeks already suspects something is up."

Hetty reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of keys, "I already have that taken care of." She dropped the keys into Kensi's hand.

"What is this for?" Kensi asked.

"It is for a vacation home that I own in the Alps. There is a plane ready to fly the four of you out in the morning."

"The Alps?" Kensi and Michelle questioned at the same time.

"I doubt that Siderov will find you there. If he does, however, the servants inside the house are NCIS Agents and your protection. Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hannah will be under the impression that you two have planned this for quite some time now and I approved it. They need a vacation."

"What about Deeks physical therapy?"

"I have already made arrangement for a physical therapist and a doctor if one is needed. Also, there is a seat reserved for Monty."

"Thank you Hetty," Kensi said, wrapping her fingers tightly around the keys.

"You are more than welcome Miss Blye."

"How can we ever repay you?" Michelle asked tearfully.

"By keeping them safe."

Kensi tucked the keys into the front pocket of her jeans and got to her feet, grabbing a handful of plates off the counter, "We need to go before they get suspicious." She turned on her heels and headed down the stairs into the basement, doing her best to school her emotions. As Kensi entered the basement she saw Deeks laughing heartily at something that Callen had said. Sam was laughing so hard that he was doubled over holding his gut. The sight brought a tear to her eye…things were just getting back to normal (or as normal as they could get) and now this had to happen. Why did this have to happen?


	20. Chapter 20

Hello guys and gals,

I will apologize ahead of time... this chapter was written in like seven minutes, so just beware of any grammatical errors. I have been waiting to write this chapter for a while now and I wish I would have had more time to write it... to make it perfect, but alas, duty calls. So I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. :)

One month later…

It had been a month since they arrived at the sprawling mansion that Hetty referred to as a "vacation home". The property was enormous and located in the Switzerland area. Kensi wasn't completely sure of their exact location, but she didn't dwell on in, she just tried to enjoy her time spent there. Things were weird at first and the men had a hard time believing that this was just a spur of the moment trip because they deserved it, but once they saw the grandiose housing arrangements all suspicious faded and were replaced with excitement. Deeks and Kensi decided to stay out in the guest house, leaving the mansion to the married couple who needed their privacy…though the guest house was almost as big as the mansion. It had six bedroom, a kitchen, three bathrooms, a beautiful sun room and a ornate stone fireplace set in the middle of the living room. There was a deck attached to the back of the house with a party sized hot tub. Kensi couldn't help but wonder how Hetty could afford something like that, but she had learned long ago never question Hetty.

Deeks had been working daily with his physical therapist Olga, a large Russian woman, who he swore was trying to kill him. Kensi spent a lot of her free time talking reading and playing with Monty in the snow. It was a wonderful experience…or at least it would be if it weren't for the fact that she knew the real reason why they were there. Callen kept in contact with Kensi through a secure chat line that was closely monitored by Eric and Nell. So far they hadn't made any progress on locating Siderov, but they were working hard at it.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, "yeah?" She called out, placing her laptop off to the side. Deeks popped his head in, "You ready to eat?"

Kensi had been lounging in her room most of the day and hadn't bothered eating lunch, so she was starving, "sure. What did Michelle cook?"

Their usual routine was to join Sam and Michelle for diner in the big house, so she was taken aback when Deeks replied, "We're not eating with them tonight. I cooked."

"You cooked?" She chuckled. "What did you cook?"

"Chicken cordon blue, green beans and almonds, onion soup, a salad and French bread. I made strawberry shortcake for desert."

Kensi's mouth began to water. Deeks did know his way around a kitchen. She dragged herself out of bed and into the dining room, where she was surprised to find an elaborately set table with candles and a bottle of wine chilling on ice.

"When did you have time to do this?" She questioned.

"While you were sleeping," he said with a grin.

Kensi hadn't even realized that she had fallen asleep. Deeks held a chair out for Kensi and she took a seat. He rolled himself over to his place at the table and motioned for her to dig in. It all smelled so delicious that she didn't know where to start. She looked over to her amazing partner and smiled, "this is nice."

Deeks shrugged his shoulders, "its okay I guess." His hair was starting to get a little longer and he had let his facial hair grow back, so he was looking more like "her Deeks" and that made her happy. Over the last month Kensi and Deeks had grown even closer than they were before, though they had not been intimate since they arrived in Switzerland. With the way Olga was pushing Deeks in his physical therapy he always seemed to be in too much pain, though he tried to hide it. Kensi didn't mind waiting… he was worth it.

As they ate their meal in silence Kensi noticed that Deeks seemed to be in a particularly good mood and it was rubbing off on her, leaving her smiling for no reason at all. The food was better than she could have imagined. The chicken was so tender it melted in her mouth like butter. She was in heaven.

Once they finished eating their meal Kensi helped Deeks clear the table and they went into the living room and sat in front of the crackling fire that he had built. Kensi was sipping on her wine, watching the snow fall outside and feeling a blissful peace that she hadn't felt in a long time.

"I want to show you something," Deeks said, interrupting the silence.

"Okay," Kensi replied.

Deeks rolled himself over to the stereo and popped in a CD and pressed play. The soft notes of a piano filtered through the surround sound and Kensi playfully quirked an eyebrow at him. "Come here?" He beckoned her over to his chair. She put down her glass of wine and did as he asked. When she reached his chair he got to his feet and held out his hand, "may I have this dance?"

To say that Kensi was surprised was an understatement. She knew that Olga had been really pushing Deeks, but dancing was something she didn't expect any time soon. She took his hand and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close. Slowly they began to sway to the melody of the piano. He was walking! No… he was dancing! Kensi wrapped her arms around his neck and turned her head so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. He twirled her around slowly and she felt like she was in a dream… a wonderful…beautiful dream.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered softly in her ear.

She chuckled softly, "tears of joy… I promise."

Deeks ran the tips of his fingers up her spine and she shivered slightly. He always had a way of doing that to her…she loved it. She rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed in rhythm with the music, "I love you," she sighed. Those three words that were once so hard for her to say now came as easily as breathing. Deeks hugged her close to his body, "I love you too Kensi." He kissed to top of her head, "more than you will ever know."

As the last few notes of the song came to an end Deeks stopped dancing and Kensi felt a brief moment of disappointment. That disappointment disappeared when his lips found hers. He kissed her with such a fierce passion that it literally took her breath away and left her light headed. He had a power over her that she couldn't deny and he knew it. He pulled away from their kiss and Kensi lifted his shirt over his head, revealing his scarred muscular chest. She licked her lips as she pulled him into her arms and kissed him once more. With a devious grin he carefully lowered her to the rug in front of the fireplace and it was at that moment that she realized she had the whole world right there in her arms. And that she would die to protect what meant so much to her.


	21. Chapter 21

Two weeks later…

Kensi awoke to the most beautiful sunrise she had ever seen. Heavy clouds from an impending storm stretched as far as the eye could see, seeming to swallow the mountains whole. Thin rays of sunlight broke through clouds, illuminating the thick layer of freshly fallen snow, making the land appear to be made of a million diamonds.. It was amazing. She sighed contently and nestled herself further into Deeks arms. The warmth of his body enveloped her and for a brief moment she felt nothing but pure bliss.

That moment, however, was shattered when her laptop chimed, alerting her to a message from Callen. She eased herself out from under Deeks arm, grabbed her laptop and headed out into the living room. She took a seat on the couch and opened her chat program. It was a video message.

She clicked on the accept button, "Hey Callen. Why the early morning call?"

Callen's picture kept fading in and out and was very staticy, "K…i. …et….ut…..se."

"You are breaking up too bad," she said. "I can't hear you." She got up from the couch and headed over to the window, hoping for better reception. She knew that the storm clouds often interfered with the connection, but she had never seen it this bad. "Say that again."

Callen's picture faded in and out once more as he spoke, "…id…..s…..ere….et… ..t….he…..se….ow"

"Callen I can't understand you," she said with a frustrated sigh. "Look we have a storm coming in. Call back in a few hours and maybe we will get a better connection then."

"…si…o….id…..s…ere…..g…..ot…..n…." Callen replied.

Kensi just rolled her eyes and closed the computer. If she couldn't understand him, then he couldn't understand her, so there was no sense in wasting her breath. She headed into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Thanks too Callen she was up for the day. What on earth was so important that he had to call her this early in the damn morning? As the coffee pot began to drip Kensi unloaded the dishwasher and wiped off the counters from the night before. If Hetty knew what they had done on those counters she would probably burn the place to the ground. Kensi smiled to herself at the fond memory.

"What are you smiling about?" Deeks asked sleepily from behind her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her gently on the neck.

"About how Hetty would react if she knew what we have been doing in her guest house," she teased.

"That is a thought that frightens me. She would probably burn the house down… with us in it."

Kensi laughed and turned around so that she could face Deeks, "did you sleep well last night?"

He gave her a quick peck on the lips, "like a rock."

Deeks hadn't had many night terrors since they moved into the guest house. The few that he did have weren't nearly as bad as the ones he was having several months ago. Kensi kissed him playfully on the lips and then danced just out of his reach before he could grab her, "I need my coffee," she teased.

Deeks grabbed two cups from the cupboard, "you are mean."

Kensi laughed, "so what are you going to do about it?"

"You'll see," he said slyly as he slid a steaming cup of coffee toward her.

"I look forward to it," she purred.

A knock at the door pulled them from their flirtatious banter. Kensi rolled her eyes and trudged unhappily to the door. What is wrong with people? Why does everyone insist on make such early morning calls? She yanked the door open, expecting to see Sam or Michelle standing there. She was not expecting to see Siderov by any means. She gasped as her heart leapt into her throat.

"Hello dear," he growled, lifting his gun and pointing it directly in her face. He pushed himself into the house and closed the door behind him, never taking his gun off of Kensi, "let's take a little walk shall we?" He hissed as he wrapped his arm around her neck and gave it a painful squeeze.

"Hey Kens," Deeks said with his head stuck in the refrigerator door. "Who is it?"

"Marty Deeks," Siderov said with a dangerous edge to his voice. "How nice to see you again."

Deeks' body tensed and he slowly turned to face the source of the voice. His wide eyes glassed over and he took a step back, dropping the gallon of milk he was holding in his hand, spilling all over the floor.

"Deeks," Kensi choked out. "Deeks run!"

"Shut up you little whore," Siderov barked, tightening his grip around Kensi neck and cutting off precious blood flow.

Deeks was frozen in fear. He couldn't take his eyes off of Siderov or the fact that Siderov had Kensi, "what do you want?" Deeks asked weakly.

Siderov tightened his grip around Kensi's neck and she struggled against his hold, but he was too strong for her. "I want to play Marty. Do you want to play? I already have Sam…he's waiting for you."

"Will you let her go?" The question was simple, but Kensi was shocked at how calmly he had asked it.

"Of course Marty," Siderov cooed. "Of course I will let her go. I just want to finish what I started."

"Deeks, no," Kensi choked. "No."

Siderov tightened his grip around Kensi's neck and spots began to dance before her eyes, "because of you and your little friend, I lost out on a deal of a lifetime. All my buyers want my head on a pike. I'm a dead man walking Mr. Deeks. I have nothing to lose. So what do you say?"

"Okay," he said sadly.

Kensi wanted to scream. She wanted to fight, but she had gone too long without oxygen and blood flow and her body refused to cooperate any longer. She went limp in Siderov's arms and he let go of her neck and she crashed to the floor with a painful thud and as the world darkened around her the only thought that went through her mind was, _please God let this be a nightmare. Please._


	22. Chapter 22

Hello all,

Just a warning, but things are about to get intense. Enjoy!

Kensi came too with a scream. She was in the dimly lit basement of the main house. She tried to sit upright, but her arms and legs were bound behind her tightly… she had been hogtied. She closed her eyes tightly and forced herself to take a deep breath. She needed to remain calm if she wanted to figure a way out of this.

"That bastard took them," Michelle whimpered from the corner.

Kensi's vision was still a bit blurry, but she could just make out the fuzzy shape of Michelle and could tell that she too was hogtied. Kensi struggled against her restraints but they only seemed to get tighter. With every breath she took the urge to break free grew stronger. She had to get out… she had to help Deeks and Sam. "Where the fuck is all the Agents that were supposed to protect us?" She shouted.

Michelle tilted her head toward the far end of the wall where a pile of bodies sat. Their throats had been slit. "How in the hell did that happen?"

"They gassed the main house," Michelle said in a defeated tone. "We all went down. Siderov slashed their throats while they were out. When I came too I was tied up like this and he had Sam. Sam didn't even put up a fight. He just stood there stone faced and let that bastard take him away. Why didn't he fight Kensi?"

Kensi struggled harder against the ropes that bound her, "he probably pulled the same move on Sam that he pulled on Deeks. If you come with me I will let her go."

Michelle chuckled sadly and shook her head, "he isn't going to let us go Kensi. He is a monster. He told me that he wants me to suffer by making David suffer."

Blood ran down Kensi's wrists as the ropes cut deep into her flesh, but she paused for a moment as a realization hit her, "Wait… he referred to Sam as Sam in the guesthouse."

"He shouldn't know that," Michelle said bitterly. "Unless someone told him."

Kensi grit her teeth and resumed the painful process of trying to escape her restraints. The blood was a good thing, because it was making her skin slick and hopefully easier to slide out of the ropes. She meant what she had said… Deeks was her world and right now he was being hurt… that pissed her off to no end. She would die for that man and if she had to chew her own damn hands off to get out of those ropes she was going to do it.

"It's no use," Michelle sighed. "I have already tried. He tied the ropes to tight."

Kensi was becoming desperate and though she knew it would hamper her fighting abilities she knew she had no choice. She grabbed the thumb on her left hand and gritted her teeth, "you want to make a bet?" She pulled up on her thumb as hard as she could and the sound of bone snapping echoed through the empty basement. "Son of a bitch that hurt," Kensi cried out as she struggled to catch her breath and fight back the tears. She started trying to pull her now broken hand through the ropes. The pain was intense, but her thoughts of Deeks were stronger. He would do it for her without hesitation. Kensi cried out in pain as the rope squeezed past her broken thumb, pulling and tearing at the tender skin of her hand. One more hard pull and pop… her hand was free. Kensi took a moment to cradle the bloody appendage against her chest before she set about untying the knots that held her captive. That was no easy undertaking considering that she no longer had the use of her thumb.

"Girl you are nuts," Michelle gasped when she saw what Kensi had done. "I like it. I wish I would have thought of that myself."

After what seemed like an eternity Kensi managed to get herself free of the ropes. She rushed over to Michelle and quickly untied her. Once Michelle was free the woman stood in the basement and took a good look around. This was Hetty's basement and there was no telling what they would find there. Kensi knew Hetty well enough to know that she had weapons stashed in every room of the house, because as she would say, "You never know what surprises life may offer and one needs to be able to protect one's self in any situation."

"Start pulling on wall sconces," Kensi order.

Michelle gave her an odd look, but did as she said. Kensi pulled on all the ornate light fixtures on the right side of the wall, but nothing happened. Michelle, however, had a bit more luck. When she pulled on the middle wall sconce a panel flipped out of the wall, and a tiny light winked on, revealing several different kinds of guns, ranging from compact .38's to long range rifles. "Holy crap. You aren't the only one that is crazy."

Kensi picked a Smith and Wesson 9mm, "sometimes crazy is a good thing."

Michelle chose the Glock .45 and loaded the clip into it, "You got that right."

"Here," Kensi said, handing Michelle her gun. "Put the clip in it for me."

Michelle popped the clip in and then took a moment to inspect the damage to Kensi's hand, "Damn girl. You tore your hand up." Kensi's thumb hung loosely at the side and the flesh on the top of her hand had been peeled back to her knuckles like the top of a sardine can.

Kensi pulled her hand away, "It will be fine."

"No," Michelle said as she started ripping the bottom half of her shirt off. "You are bleeding everywhere. Let me bandage that. You can't fight with your hand like that." Michelle quickly wrapped the torn piece of cloth around her hand and tied it tightly at the top. To be honest, the pain was much worse now that it was wrapped, but Kensi didn't care. If it got her to Deeks faster Michelle could have just cut her whole damn arm off.

"What do we do now?" Michelle asked.

Kensi started walking towards the stairs. The rage and pure, unabated hatred that felt in her heart would normally frighten her, but not this time… this time she let if fuel her fire. She embraced the power that radiated from such raw loathing. Siderov made a mistake the first time he ever laid a finger on Deeks, but to do it twice… he just signed his death warrant. "We go get our boys back."


	23. Chapter 23

Kensi and Michelle crept out into the house silently. The stench of blood hung heavy in the air and pools of blood dotted the once pristine floor when the other agents had been brutally murdered. The two women tip-toed through the house, making sure they stayed close to the wall as they cleared each room. Kensi was getting angrier by the second and once they had cleared all the rooms of the mansion she was almost certain that she had cracked a few teeth from gritting them so hard.

"Guesthouse," she whispered to Michelle.

Michelle nodded and the two women silently slipped outside into the frigid air. The storm had rolled in and the wind was whipping up so much snow it was impossible to see more than a foot or two in any direction. Kensi was still wearing her thin cotton pajama bottoms and a spaghetti strapped shirt. Michelle wasn't much warmer in her silk nighty and flimsy bathrobe. Kensi's mind was so focused on finding Siderov that she didn't even notice the cold.

The women slipped around through the back of the house and entered through the bathroom window. The bandage around Kensi's hand had soaked through with blood and was now dripping onto the floor of the bathroom. She didn't pay much mind to it, but made a mental note that she was leaving a trail for Siderov to follow. Kensi slid out into the eerily quiet hallway and into the bedroom that was supposed to be Deeks. She cleared the room quickly and motioned for Michelle to move on to the next room. As she stood guard outside the bedroom that she and Deeks have been sharing for the past two months she had a clear view of the kitchen and she couldn't take her eyes off of the spilled milk on the floor. That's what Callen was trying to tell her. He knew that Siderov was there and he was trying to warn her. If she would have only stayed on a little longer… maybe the signal would have cleared up and she could have prevented this whole damn day from happening. She was so stupid for hanging up on Callen. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Michelle motioned for Kensi to move on to the next room. She snapped out of her self demeaning thoughts and headed across the hall to clear the next room. After about five minutes the women had the last three rooms cleared and had moved into the living room. Siderov wasn't there.

"Where in the hell could he be?" Michelle whispered harshly.

Kensi racked her brain for an answer. They aren't in the mansion. They aren't in the guest house. There weren't many other places that they could be unless Hetty had a hidden room that Siderov stumbled across. That seemed like a Hetty thing to have... she liked her secret rooms. Then it hit her, "the tool shed," she exclaimed harshly. "That's where they have to be!"

Kensi stared out at that tool shed every damn day since they had arrived at the guesthouse. She had always noted that the tool shed was almost as big as her house and often wondered why someone would need a shed that big. It would be the perfect place to torture someone. They slipped out onto the deck and past the steaming hot tub. A crimson red trail of blood drops followed Kensi's every step, but she wasn't worried. The snow was falling so quickly now that they would be covered in a matter of seconds.

The tool shed was located about 100 yards from the house, but in the blinding snow, Kensi wasn't exactly sure if she was going in the right direction. These were the kind of conditions that were dangerous. They had barely taken a few steps away from the guest house and it could no longer be seen through the whiteout conditions. Kensi closed her eyes and tried to orient herself. She imagined herself standing at the sliding glass window every morning looking out at the horizon. Where was the shed when she looked? She concentrated hard… to her right…the shed was located to her right.

"Stay close," Kensi shouted over the howling winds of the storm. "If we get separated we could get lost."

Michelle nodded her understanding and grabbed a hold to the back of Kensi's tank top. The wind whipped Kensi's hair around in a stingy fury as the trudged through the knee deep snow. They had walked several feet before Kensi stopped, suddenly feeling uncertain that she was going the right way. "Come on Kensi," she said to herself. "You can do this." Her teeth were chattering violently and her unbroken hand was beginning to go numb, making it very difficult to hold on to the gun. She closed her eyes again and tried to concentrate, but it wasn't as easy this time. There was too much distraction… the snow, the wind, the pain… it was making it impossible to focus on one thought.

The swirling snow was too disorienting, so a different idea popped into her mind. While keeping her eyes closed Kensi started to plow forward. She walked several more feet before stopping again… she was on the right track…she could feel it… just a little further. She once again resumed the difficult task of walking through the deep snow drifts, but she was driven by the desire to save her mate… her partner…her world. Just as Kensi was about to take another step forward she was yanked back by Michelle. Kensi fell into the woman who shouted into her ear, "You were about to walk right into the building!"

Kensi looked up at the snow covered structure and laughed. She had found it, which means she had found Deeks. Michelle helped Kensi back onto her feet and the two women slipped over to the window and peered in. What they saw within the building made their blood boil. Deeks and Sam had been strapped down to identical metal chairs. Both men stared blankly ahead, while Siderov walked circles around them, occasionally smacking a metal pipe against the backs of the chairs. Each time he did this Sam and Deeks would jump. Though both men seemed to be untouched, it was very apparent that the torture had already started. Kensi had to nearly bite through her tongue to keep from screaming.

Kensi raised her gun, but with the angle that they were at, there was no way that she could get a clear shot of Siderov without putting Deeks and Sam at risk. They had to formulate a plan and fast. Kensi backed away from the window and tried to think. Unfortunately nothing was coming to mind… nothing good at least.

"I have an idea," Michelle offered. "But you aren't going to like it."

Kensi pulled her close and shouted, "try me."

"Okay," Michelle shouted in return, "This is what we do…."


	24. Chapter 24

Michelle took her position on the backside of the shed, while Kensi hunkered down in her special little hiding spot. Once Michelle got the thumbs up from Kensi she reached around to the side of the shed and busted the glass window out with the butt of her gun before ducking back behind the shed.

"What the fuck?" Siderov shouted angrily. He pulled his weapon and rushed to the window, but when he peeked out the only thing he saw was a quickly fading blood trail leading behind the shed. He pulled his head back in the window, "it seems your lady friends just don't know when to give up."

"Leave them alone," Deeks growled. "You have us… just ignore them."

Siderov scoffed, "that is like having gangrene and say it's just a little infection… just ignore it. Do you know what they do to limps infected with gangrene? They cut them off!" He cocked his gun and stormed toward the door, "and that is what I'm going to do. Cut them off."

"You asshole," Deeks spit angrily. "You promised." He fought to free himself, but Siderov had taken no chances with either of the men and had them both handcuffed to the chairs. "If you touch her I swear to God I will kill you!" Deeks realized threats were drowned out by the raging storm outside. He let his chin drop to his chest as he waited helplessly for whatever may come next.

"They are smart women," Sam said proudly. "I'm sure they got this."

Siderov followed the trail of blood around the shed, pausing at the broken window. The sight of the blood gave him an almost manic feel. It was invigorating… it was empowering…it was wonderful. He popped his head in the window and smiled wildly, "I see there is blood… lots of blood. I wonder which one of those bitches chewed her hand off?" Siderov laughed maniacally and then disappeared from the window once more. He found himself humming a chipper tune as he followed the crimson trail. The trail wound around the back of the shed and then along the side and finally stopped in front of the door. Siderov paused for a moment, feeling a bit confused. Why didn't he see the blood by the door when he first walked out?

A thick wet glob suddenly splattered on his nose. He reached his hand up and wiped it away, surprised to find that it was blood. When he looked skyward, another drop landed directly between his eyes, "what in the hell?" He questioned aloud. He looked up once more and gasped when he saw the hate filled eyes of Kensi Blye boring a hole through the top of his skull. She was perched on the edge of the roof and as her hair blew wildly around her wind burnt face, Siderov couldn't help but notice the frightening resemblance the woman and the gargoyles he remembered so fondly in London. Her injured hand was extended over the edge of the roof and another drop of blood fell from the bandage and splattered directly in his eye.

Kensi had long since lost the ability to hold onto her gun, but she hadn't lost her ability to jump. She leapt from the roof with a warriors cry, landing directly on top of Siderov and knocking him to the ground with bone crushing force. His gun flew from his hand and landed in the snow a few feet away. He tried to push Kensi off of him, but she began punching him with hands that she could no longer feel.

Meanwhile, while Siderov was distracted, Michelle climbed through the broken window and began working on freeing the guys. She grabbed the keys from the table, but due to the numbness of her hands she was not able to hold on to them. She cursed loudly as she kicked the keys towards Deeks. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely before using her hip to pushed Deeks chair over. He landed on the ground with a thud and she pushed the keys into his hand with her foot, "But, I've got to go help Kensi," she said. "Get your cuffs off and get the hell out of here."

Kensi was putting up quite a fight by the time Michelle got out there, but Siderov was quickly gaining the upper hand…probably because he could feel all of his body parts. Kensi screamed in agony and fell over to the side when Siderov grabbed her injured hand and twisted it. It may have been numb, but it wasn't that numb.

"Oh hell no," Michelle shouted as she jumped into action, kicking Siderov hard in the head. Over and over and over again. "That's for Sam," she kicked. "And that's for Deeks." _Kick_. "And this is for me." _Kick._ "And this is for Kensi." _Kick._ "And this is for being you." _Kick_. Siderov's head lolled to the side with each kick and soon he quit moving all together.

"I think I killed him," Michelle said as she bent over and tried to catch her breath. Neither Kensi nor Michelle had enough feeling in their hands to check for a pulse, but he didn't appear to be breathing any more.

Michelle offered Kensi a hand up, "let's go see how the guys are doing."

Just as Michelle began to pull Kensi to her feet Siderov leapt from the ground and smashed a rock into the back of Michelle's head. Michelle slumped to the ground like a sack of bricks and didn't get back up. Before Kensi could react Siderov had grabbed her from behind, much like he did when he had grabbed her in the guest house. Only this time his position was slightly different…he was preparing to snap her neck. Kensi tried to pry his hand off of her, but her hands were too numb to function any longer.

"Let her go," Deeks said calmly from the doorway of the tool shed.

"You stay back," Siderov ordered. "Or I swear to God I will snap her neck."

Deeks didn't even flinch. Sam appeared in the doorway next to Deeks and Siderov too a step back. Sam's eyes flashed to his wife's prone form and the crimson red snow forming around her head and when he looked back at Siderov the look on his face could only be described as murderous rage. Sam calmly took a step toward his wife, but Siderov shouted, "Stay back. I will do it. I will snap her neck."

"Deeks," Sam said with an eerie calm.

"Yeah Sam?" Deeks said casually.

"End this. Now."

"With pleasure," Deeks said as he brought up the gun that Siderov had dropped in the snow. Kensi swears she saw a smile cross his face as he pulled the trigger. The bullet flew from the chamber and smacked Siderov right between the eyes. Blood and gore exploded from the entry wound and sprayed across Kensi's face. Siderov dropped to the ground with a look of utter shock still plastered across his face. Kensi landed next to him in a heap. It was over, she thought with a smile. It was finally over. Deeks rushed to her side and scooped her up into his arms, "Kensi," he said worriedly. "Kensi, sweetie look at me."

Kensi's eyes rolled around in head.

"Kens," Deeks was beginning to panic. There was so much blood and he didn't know how much of it was hers and how much of it was Siderov's. "Don't worry," he said gently as he struggled to his feet. He clutched her tightly to his chest and tried not to jostle her injured hand too much, "I've got you."

The snow storm had started to die down slightly and Deeks could just make out the outline of the mansion. Sam had taken his shirt off and used it to apply pressure to Michelle's head wound before scooping her into his arms as well. The two men walked in tandem back to the mansion, never once bothering to look back at Siderov's body.


	25. Chapter 25

Hello all,

So this is the final chapter. I decided to make it short and simple instead of long and drawn out. I have really enjoyed writing this story and I would like to say Thank You to everyone who read it and followed it to the end. I would also like to say thank you for all of the wonderful reviews that I have received. You guys are awesome!

Be sure to tune in for my next Densi story! I should be posting the first chapter by tomorrow. It's titled "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."It's a whole lot of funny mixed in with some adventure :)

Enjoy!

When Kensi came too the first thing that registered was pain. She hurt everywhere. The second thing she noticed was that she was not alone. She was almost afraid to open her eyes… what if she didn't like what she saw? What if she was lying in the snow dying? What is Siderov had her tide to one of those chairs?

"Kens?" Deeks voice penetrated her thoughts.

Oh-no! She panicked. What if he is tied to the chair next to her? She can't watch him get tortured… she can't.

"Hey," she heard his gentle voice once more. "Kens, wake up sweetie." She could feel his warm hands touching her shoulders. He wouldn't be able to do that if he were tied to a chair now would he? What if they were both dying and this is just how her mind was dealing with the pain of death? Or worse, what if they were both dead and she was now a ghost? Wait…ghosts aren't warm and his hands fell warm. She sighed heavily and still felt a little apprehensive about opening her eyes, but her curiosity was getting the best of her. She cracked one eye open warily and the first thing she saw was Deeks worried face hovering above her.

"She's awake," he shouted to someone over his shoulder. He turned his attention back to her, "Hey there," he said sweetly. "I'm glad to see that you are awake. Do you want to open your other eye for me?"

Kensi shook her head no…doing that would take too much effort. Deeks chuckled softly, and traced her cheekbone with the backs of his fingers, "Okay. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Miss Blye," Hetty's voice rang out, causing Kensi to wince from the throbbing pain in her head.

Deeks shot Hetty a warning look before disappearing from Kensi's line of vision. She missed him already. Hetty's face now loomed before her, "You gave us quite a scare." Hetty thankfully had lowered the volume some.

"Where's Deeks?" Kensi asked weakly. "Where did he go?"

"I'm right here," he said, gently placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes," Hetty said with an unreadable look. "He is always right there."

Kensi forced her right eye open and blinked hard, "How is Michelle?"

"She will be fine," Hetty answered. "She had to get a few stitches in her head and was treated for the beginning stages of hypothermia, as were you I might add, but she will be fine. I can't believe you two girls went traipsing about in a snowstorm wearing nothing but your pajamas. You are lucky they didn't have to amputate anything." Hetty's stern voice was betrayed by the glint of pride in her eyes. "But, with that being said, you did what you needed to do and Siderov was stopped. You four make quite a team."

"How did Siderov find us?" Kensi asked.

"Olga," Hetty said with a disapproving frown.

"Olga?" Kensi gaped. "The Physical Therapist?"

"I told you she was trying to kill me," Deeks whined.

Kensi turned her head so that she could look up at Deeks, "How are you doing? I know that had to be traumatic for you."

"I'm fine," he reassured her with a smile.

"Really?"

"Nothing I can't handle. Knowing that Siderov is gone has made things a lot easier for us all."

Kensi reached out to lay her hand on his, but yelped loudly when searing pain flared up her arm and past her elbow.

"Easy," Deeks said worriedly. "You did a lot of damage to your hand. You need to rest it."

Kensi wasn't going to argue with him on the subject and rested her swollen hand on her belly, "How bad is it?"

"You tore it up pretty bad," Deeks explained. "The doctor said you had some pretty nasty abrasions on the top of your hand that required quite a few stitches. He said it was like you tried to remove the skin like you were removing a glove. Not to mention the severely broken thumb."

"Ouch," she said with a grimace.

"Ouch indeed," Hetty responded. "Now would you mind telling how you aquired such and injury?"

"We were hogtied in the basement. I was just trying to get free."

"You did that to yourself?" Deeks stammered.

"I had to get to you," Kensi's eyes locked with his and for a brief moment everything else seemed to melt away. Until Hetty cleared her throat that is. "And Sam," Kensi added hastily. "I had to get to you AND Sam."

Hetty didn't look convinced. "You are beginning to look tired Miss Blye. I think I will take my leave now."

"Thanks for visiting Hetty," Kensi said with a wave from her good hand.

"Oh of course my dear," she smiled warmly. "Once you are feeling better we can make arrangements to get you kids back home."

"Oh? We aren't leaving today?"

Hetty paused at the door, "Uh… no. Unless you wish to leave today."

"No… a few days recovery would be nice."

Hetty crossed her hands in front of her, "well I don't believe the next transport will be available until…lets say two weeks from now?"

"Two weeks sounds great," Kensi beamed.

"Alright then," Hetty said with a wave over her shoulder. "You kids take care. And don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Kensi rolled her eyes, "I swear that woman has ESP."

Deeks sat down on the bed next to her and took her good hand in his, "that she does." He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and let his fingers linger briefly on her skin, "thank you for what you did for me."

Kensi leaned into his touch, "thank you for killing Siderov."

"I had to protect my girl," he said as he leaned in closer to her. His lips hovered just out of reach of hers, "You are my girl aren't you?"

"I'm your girl," Kensi replied without hesitation.

Deeks closed the gap between their lips and the world around them disappeared. Kensi Marie Blye had finally learned to trust someone completely… not only with her mind and body, but with her heart and soul. He was a part of her life now…a part of her, and she knew that no one or nothing would ever be able to change that. She was there to stay and wild horses couldn't drag her away.

The End


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